14 Drinks To Avoid Ordering At Dutch Bros

Dutch Bros has more drinks than we can count. Its online and app menus are prolific, with endless customizations, flavorings, milk types, and combinations that can make it overwhelming to choose just one. There's everything from lemonade to espresso drinks to shakes and much more. You can get something fruit-forward and light or cream-based and heavy. So, how do you decide what to buy? Well, one of our tips as Dutch Bros regulars is to know what not to get. That'll help you feel more confident in what you inevitably do order. 

We compiled a bunch of beverages that should be avoided based on previous Tasting Table rankings, where one of our writers personally tried and disliked the drink — but for some drinks, we also sought out public reviews to incorporate more information. If you're spending a few bucks on a drink, it might as well be tasty. Some of these lacked in flavor, were too cloying, had strange textures, or simply cost too much for what they offer. Make your next Dutch Bros experience a positive one by skipping these drinks.

The Kicker, made of espresso, Irish cream syrup, and half-and-half, sounds delicious breve in theory. But after taking a sip of it for our iced Dutch Bros drinks taste test, we found that it essentially tasted like cream without a lick of espresso flavor. This much is evident from the picture. It looks like a pure cream beverage with perhaps a drop of coffee. The image on the Dutch Bros website looks like it contains considerably more espresso, but alas, that's not how we received it. Plus, it's not worth the cost if you're essentially getting only a dairy product with a squirt of syrup and undetectable espresso. 

While a breve is supposed to be a decadent delight, we're not trying to consume an entire 16-ounce cup of ice and half-and-half if there's hardly any espresso in it. You can purchase this hot, iced, or blended, but the issue remains the same. You'd probably need at least four shots of espresso to balance out the cream, which would raise the price. It's better to skip this.

The Double Torture promises extra espresso (four shots in total, to be exact), which is needed and actually noticeable when you sip it (at least compared to the previous beverage). This sipper is made with espresso, chocolate milk, and vanilla. The chocolate milk and espresso are most evident, while the vanilla is mostly absent — so it doesn't particularly deliver on its flavor profile. The taste is okay, basically an iced mocha, but the biggest downfall is the price of this drink. 

At $7.15 for a small, this beverage is quite expensive, likely the cost of adding an extra double shot. For that price, we expect a thoroughly scrumptious drink, and this essentially tastes like chocolate milk with espresso — something we could make at home for a fraction of the cost. It's nothing revolutionary, and there are plenty of other chocolate milk-based drinks from Dutch Bros that are better, such as the rich and sweet Caramelizer or coconutty Cocomo. Alternatively, you could add an extra shot or two to your favorite drink, but this also drives up the price.

How bad can an Americano be? After all, it's only espresso and water. Well, the one from Dutch Bros is especially bitter. After a sip or two of the beverage, we were left with only regret. You end up wondering how you can finish it, if it might just be better to trash it (but that's a waste of money), or if it could potentially be mended by adding some sort of milk or creamer to mellow it out. 

After some research, it doesn't look like a lot of people order a straight Americano either, as we didn't find a lot of public reviews about it. People do, however, usually jazz it up with milk or a sweetener, such as caramel drizzle or sugar-free vanilla with a bit of half and half. This appears to be the only way to make it palatable enough for consumption. But at that point, it's more like a flavored latte than a pure Americano. In defense of Dutch Bros, the Starbucks Americano isn't any better.

When we tested out 14 hot drinks from Dutch Bros, the White Chocolate Hot Cocoa was quite a disappointment — it ranked 13, just above the Americano. This drink has a few issues to secure its spot as something to avoid. First, the white chocolate isn't very prominent, so it doesn't really bring the advertised flavor. There's no point buying a favored drink that doesn't live up to that profile. Instead, the sauce only brings extreme sweetness to the beverage — that much is noticeable. 

Second, the concoction is sweet enough because it's made of chocolate milk, so the white chocolate sauce simply turns the hot cocoa into a cloying mess. We recommend keeping it bare bones and getting the regular hot cocoa, ideal for those moments when you want something cozy and familiar. Or, for something less sugary, try asking for the plain hot cocoa to be made half-sweet. Either of these optiobs will yield a better beverage.

We typically love a mocha, but the Dutch Bros iteration is altogether too sweet. The issue is that the coffee chain makes the mocha with chocolate milk and espresso, rather than milk, chocolate syrup or sauce, and espresso. The latter allows for the drink to be a little richer and creamier, while Dutch Bros is extremely sugary but one-dimensional. 

Somehow, the chocolate essence remains light, overpowered by the sugar content — you can't taste the layered complexity of chocolate. Some companies have a more bittersweet chocolate sauce that adds a rich chocolatey dimension to the mocha, which we found lacking in this Dutch Bros version. At least the espresso brings some intrigue into the mix, but that's the only positive in this beverage. You're better off grabbing a mocha from a different coffee chain or local shop. Or get the Cocomo, which is essentially a mocha with added coconut flavor. This addition brings a lot of flavor into the mix.

You might wonder how Dutch Bros' Protein Mocha could taste different from a regular mocha. This drink suffers from a different problem purely because the addition of the protein milk tones down the espresso so much that it's virtually undetectable in the beverage. And that espresso essence was one of the only redeeming qualities that the mocha had, so not only is the protein drink more expensive with the protein milk upcharge, but it has less flavor. 

Overall, this concoction left us feeling disappointed, and like we threw our money away — not to mention the drink is kind of bland and considerably cooler than the hot mocha, so any kind of coziness goes out the window. Other customers who've tried the iced protein mocha seem underwhelmed as well, noting that they were confused by the moniker because it just tastes like a coffee. So no matter what, there seem to be integral flavors missing. The espresso and the protein don't really deliver, making it an expensive drink worth skipping.

Typically, vanilla and espresso pair well together, as we see the duo in all kinds of coffee concoctions from many chains. However, the Dutch Bros Vanilla Protein Latte solidified its last-place position in a taste test of Dutch Bros protein drinks because the drink is unbalanced. Made with espresso, Dutch Bros' protein milk, and vanilla syrup, we think that the flavored protein latte is exceedingly sweet, but other Dutch Bros patrons share that it doesn't taste like much at all. So, there's a clear lack of consistency based on where you order — you never know what you're going to receive. 

Whether it's too sweet or not flavorful enough, it simply doesn't provide a good-tasting drink that's worth ordering. It's not horrible, more along the lines of six out of 10, but it's more expensive than it's worth, given that there's also the higher fee for the protein component. We'd recommend the Protein Latte just because it's not as cloying, but we weren't all that impressed with that either.

Dutch Bros has a myriad of matcha flavors and lemonade flavors, so an iced matcha lemonade combination sounds like the ultimate match when you want a refreshing beverage. We tried 10 matcha drinks from Dutch Bros and several matcha lemonade options, so we can confidently say that the Watermelon Matcha Lemonade is an easy skip. The watermelon flavoring comes off too strong and only mellows out after the ice melts. It's palatable if you've got a lot of time and discipline to save your sips until it tastes better — but who wants to wait?

On top of that, the watermelon element tastes like cough syrup made with artificial flavoring, not exactly something you want to slowly sip as a beverage. Usually, cough syrup is consumed in one gulp to shorten the experience. Overall, the watermelon takes away from the earthy profile of the matcha. If you're seeking a fruity matcha lemonade, then the peach one is a terrific, fragrant, balanced option that we really loved.

The Lavender Matcha Lemonade didn't taste or fare much better than the watermelon option in our ranking. The lavender adds a somewhat soapy flavor to the drink, which is already slightly bitter due to the earthy matcha. Pair that with the tart lemonade, and it creates a bunch of unfortunate tasting notes combined. As a whole, though, the lavender takes over the drink and makes an unpleasant beverage. 

Others generally like the drink but think that the matcha kind of falls to the wayside, so it's definitely not a good pick if you want a tea-forward sipper. But others aren't as kind and say that it tastes disgusting. It's clear that there's a wide spectrum of opinions on this drink, but most are not glowing by any means. It might be better to make your own lavender lemonade base at home, so you can customize the sweetness and potency of lavender; then add in the matcha (also made to taste) as desired. If you want something with a floral profile, we would recommend Passion Fruit Matcha Lemonade because it's a beautiful blend of flavors — tangy lemonade, grounding green tea, and then the juicy and floral notes of passion fruit.

When we sipped our way through six Dutch Bros shakes, the birthday cake iteration came in last of the bunch. First, it helps to know that Dutch Bros' shakes are blended with ice, so they do not have a milky, creamy base. The icy quality certainly works for some flavors, but the birthday cake one is not them because it makes the chemical taste of the flavoring shine the loudest. It's artificial and altogether too sweet and syrupy, where milkiness may have helped to mellow it out. 

Instead, the drink becomes watery and generally unpleasant. Other reviewers say that birthday cake flavoring  – made with cupcake and white chocolate flavors — is kind of hard to place, offering a cloying profile without much else. We found a similar problem with the white chocolate in other drinks we've tried. It doesn't taste like much other than sugar. If you're thinking that maybe children will like the Birthday Cake Shake, that's not the case. Our taste tester tried it out with their kids, and even the kiddos weren't fans.

A chocolate shake is usually a malty, scrumptious classic, but the Dutch Bros' version translates into a thin chocolate slush rather than a rich shake. Again, this issue stems from the ice base. Although it's made with a dark chocolate sauce, it tastes more like a store-bought powdered cocoa mix. It isn't as decadent, flavorful, or even as chocolatey as we'd like. Some reviewers say that it's their least favorite drink on the menu and they wouldn't order it again because it's more reminiscent of water with Nesquick than a shake. Others also note that the blended drinks tend to melt and separate faster than you are able to enjoy them.

It doesn't deliver on the chocolate aspect, nor the shake element, if we're being blunt, so we'd say this is an easy skip. If you really want to try a Dutch Bros shake, go for the Vanilla Shake in its place, as it offers more intrigue and balance. The ice works in its favor, while the vanilla is palatable, smooth, and makes a generally reliable option.

The Golden Eagle is Dutch Bros' most popular drink, made with half and half, espresso, both vanilla and caramel flavors, and then a caramel drizzle to finish it off. We aren't big fans ourselves, but the general public thinks otherwise. So you might be curious about how the sugar-free alternative fares. Despite the classic being a fan favorite, our writer placed the sugar-free Golden Eagle last in a ranking of 10 sugar-free Dutch Bros drinks. 

The drink is altogether too sweet, with the artificial sugar-free flavorings overpowering any other component — this is quite a feat considering that you might expect a rich, breve aspect for the beverage. But that isn't the case at all, as other reviewers note that it's actually watery. It tastes somewhat plasticy or even burnt, and it almost seems like there's no espresso whatsoever. The sugar-free Golden Eagle leaves the senses confused and dissatisfied, making it a no-brainer to skip.

The regular Caramelizer has a blend of caramel, espresso, and chocolate milk, making it a tasty beverage if you're looking for something on the sweet side — we've had the hot and iced versions, and they're both quite delicious, if not a bit sweet. The sugar-free iteration, however, can't compare to the standard. First, it has an entirely different base because of the sugar-free aspect. Rather than chocolate milk, it has half and half and sugar-free chocolate syrup. Then it's mixed with sugar-free caramel sauce. 

When our taste tester sampled it, they found the flavors weren't prominent and instead undefined — how can a 'Caramel'-izer be so light on the caramel flavor? Plus, it didn't taste like what you might expect from a half and half breve (decadent creaminess); it somehow ends up watery and drab. Others share that they didn't enjoy the drink whatsoever and that sugar-free components give it an artificial flavor. They recommend getting the standard Caramelizer, but asking for it to be made half sweet — we agree with this option.

We compiled this list from researching previous Tasting Table rankings. Each of these was personally purchased and sampled by one of our writers and ranked fairly low. We also backed up their thoughts through customer reviews on websites like Reddit, Facebook, or Yelp. There are a lot of other better options, so you can feel confident that these missed the mark in some way. 

All these beverages faced issues relating to flavor, consistency, and value. Some were drab and underflavored, while others were too sickly sweet to enjoy; some had off-putting textures, or were priced too high for the quality received. We also wanted to include a range of drinks — iced, hot, chocolate, espresso, fruity, caffeinated, non-caffeinated — to cover a wider scope. This list should give you ideas on what to skip, as well as leave with some alternatives that work much better.