I Tried 11 Eggnog-Flavored Products And Ranked Them Worst To Best

'Tis the season for peppermint mochas, gingerbread hot chocolates, and, of course, tall glasses of eggnog. This holiday beverage can be as divisive as candy corn; some folks can't get enough of it, while others gag at the mere thought of egg-infused milk. If you can get past the essence of this beverage, though, you'll fall head over heels for its rich spices and occasional kick of alcohol. As a dedicated fan, I recently found myself allured by all the eggnog-flavored products available at grocery stores these days, so I decided to taste and rank a large handful of them.

As I drove home with not one, not two, but three cartons of eggnog ice cream, I could hardly wait to get started. Alongside these frozen treats, I sampled eggnog-flavored Greek yogurt, cookies, coffee, creamer, and even a smoothie. To my surprise, four of these products were vegan, which just goes to show that eggnog is such a beloved holiday staple that the plant-based community will take great measures to mimic its flavors.

When I finally got home, I ranked these products according to flavor and texture. Though I did not expect any of them to taste exactly like eggnog, I did judge how vibrant the spices were and how creamy the mouthfeel was, where applicable. You can find more information on methodology at the end of this article.

It's no easy feat to craft a dairy-free creamer that lends a luscious texture and a complementary flavor to beverages like tea and coffee. I've been impressed by a few brands, including Ripple, Sown, and Oatly, and I've even enjoyed the hazelnut and toasted marshmallow flavors sold by Nutpods. Sadly, though, when I tried this brand's holiday nog dairy-free creamer in both coffee and matcha, I found it to be lackluster. You might be better off trying one of these store-bought holiday coffee creamers that come in flavors like gingerbread and peppermint mocha.

For starters, the coconut flavor (lent by coconut cream and coconut oil) was overbearing, and that's coming from someone who usually likes the tropical drupe. Maybe if you were really trying to imbibe the surfing Santa vibes, you would buy this product, but I don't suggest it otherwise. It wasn't very sweet, either, so you might need to add extra sugar if that's what you like in your cup of joe. I enjoyed one aspect of this creamer, though: Its texture. It was thicker than most other creamers I have tried in my life, both dairy and non-dairy.

If you love sugar cookies, it's worth trying the holiday nog cookies from Pepperidge Farm. These cookies are a spin on Pepperidge Farm's popular Chessmen butter cookies, which some say outrank the Tahoe and Chesapeake variations. In fact, the ingredient differences between the Chessmen cookies and the holiday nog cookies are minimal. Namely, the holiday nog version features natural flavors, vanilla bean flecks, and cinnamon. Otherwise, the two cookies are essentially the same, with minute nutritional differences.

I like plain Jane Chessmen cookies just fine, but I was disappointed with the holiday nog variation. It seemed like this product was trying too hard to be something it was not — an eggy drink instead of a cookie. In other words, whatever was present in the natural flavors could have been toned down, and the real cinnamon amped up. Additionally, I found the price of this product ($4.59 at my local Target) a bit steep for what it delivered, but it was the exact same price as other Pepperidge Farm cookies like Milanos and Veronas.

The best part about these cookies was their texture. They were just crumbly enough to melt beautifully in the mouth, but not so much that they made a mess. Because their texture was wonderful, but not their flavor, I would simply buy the plain Chessmen cookies in the future.

Harris Teeter's Parlor Creation line includes flavors like eggnog and peppermint during the winter. Parlor Creations stands apart from the grocery store's premium ice cream line, which features year-round flavors like French vanilla, coffee, and rocky road. Notably, the eggnog Parlor Creations flavor is not advertised as a premium ice cream, which I could have told you from my very first spoonful. 

The texture of this ice cream was just fine; I liked it and wouldn't turn it down if it were my only option. Nevertheless, it was far less rich and creamy than the two other ice creams I sampled. After the taste test, I peered at the ingredient list and found a possible explanation for the product's average texture: It contains a hodge-podge of thickeners and stabilizers, including cellulose gel, cellulose gum, guar gum, locust bean gum, and carrageenan. The other two brands on this list relied more on traditional ice cream ingredients and techniques to achieve their wonderful texture, while the Harris Teeter product struggled to deliver. Similarly, the flavor was nice, but nothing spectacular. The nutmeg was not quite warm enough, leaving yet another thing to be desired in this ice cream.

If you're looking for Hail Merry cups in the chocolates and desserts section, think again: These treats are stored in the refrigerated aisle, and they will melt — I repeat, they will melt — if you leave them in a warm environment. You might find them alongside products like Honey Mama's fudge bars and Perfect Bars, both of which also require refrigeration. Once you are ready to enjoy the cups, you should allow them to warm up at room temperature for 15-20 minutes.

I've tried other products from Hail Merry, and I quite enjoyed the chocolate almond butter cups. However, the eggnog version left me ambivalent. I didn't mind the chewy texture and strong flavor of the shredded coconut in the crust, but it overpowered the flavors and textures of the filling. When I performed a minor surgery on this treat and separated the crust from the filling, I was able to taste much more of the rum extract and nutmeg than before. I appreciate that this is a raw, plant-based dessert suitable for vegans and gluten-free folks, but those with almond and cashew allergies should stay far away.

I've never been a big fan of Harmless Harvest yogurt, so I admit that my expectations were not high for this product. Nevertheless, I went in with an open mind and was pleasantly surprised by the Harmless Harvest organic coconut nog smoothie. I'll confidently say upfront that you need to be a coconut fan to enjoy this product — before you are able to taste the cinnamon or nutmeg, you're hit by the bold flavors of coconut meat and coconut water. The aroma and taste of this beverage reminded me of the times I have used fresh coconut to cook Thai food.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I can share that the texture of this smoothie was superb. Sometimes, real eggnog can have a strange mouthfeel, where it is thick and heavy, but not quite creamy enough. This smoothie was undeniably creamy, and it went down easily. My main critique is that the spices could have been stronger. If you think that this beverage appears slightly pink, your eyes are not playing tricks on you; that's a natural reaction in coconut water that may indicate superior quality.

A soothing cup of coffee after a large holiday meal can work wonders, so you might already be on the hunt for a decaf option. After all, you need your beauty sleep after such festive occasions! Thankfully, the Crazy Cups Caramel Eggnog coffee comes in caffeinated and decaffeinated versions. I'm no coffee expert, though I have tried cups around the world and taken a few coffee tours and workshops. However, it's safe to say that I approached this product much like an everyday consumer, so my reflections might mirror yours, too.

I found this coffee comforting, aromatic, and well-rounded in flavor. I usually don't drink espresso straight, but this coffee was mellow enough for me to enjoy it that way. Even so, it could have been a touch more acidic to balance out the sweetness of the flavors. The caramel was immediately noticeable, but not too strong. Meanwhile, the eggnog flavor was present from the start to the end of each sip, but I wish it had been bolder. This coffee is a cheaper alternative to the seasonal mochas and lattes sold at coffee shops for a pretty penny, and you have the added benefit of being able to customize your coffee exactly how you want it. I added Oatly Barista Edition milk and a touch of agave after tasting it.

Chobani has been releasing sensational seasonal Greek yogurt cups for over a decade. In fact, the brand was at the forefront of the pumpkin spice craze in 2014. Before I even touch on flavor, I'll say that this holiday nog Greek yogurt has a lot going for it simply because it possesses Chobani's signature creamy Greek yogurt base. Even though this is a reduced-fat product, it's still thick, likely due to the presence of guar gum, locust bean gum, and fruit pectin. I was disappointed that it was not quite as thick and tangy as the brand's classic Greek yogurt, but it still brought a pleasant pucker to my lips.

As for flavor, Chobani's holiday nog Greek yogurt sets the bar high. The tanginess of the yogurt complements the sweetness of the spices, and while these spices aren't specified, cinnamon and nutmeg are certainly detectable in both flavor and aroma. They are evenly distributed in each bite, making this a satisfying breakfast (or even dessert) that won't leave you searching for something sweeter afterward. I wasn't surprised by the admirable quality of this product since Chobani also sells a fabulous oat nog. As much as I loved it, however, a handful of products outranked it in flavor.

Publix's eggnog ice cream is slightly more expensive than Harris Teeter's, and for good reason: It's of significantly better quality. The product in question is a premium ice cream, meaning that each carton contains less air and more butterfat than regular and economy ice creams. Its flavors were clean and crisp without tasting artificial, and it was very warmly spiced. The rum flavor was noticeable, but not overbearing. I plan to use what is leftover in the carton to make an ice cream cake with a gingerbread crust.

Despite the delightfully soft, creamy texture of this ice cream, I yearned for something a bit denser that would have allowed me to savor each spoonful more slowly. If the ice cream had possessed more stretchiness, I would have been satisfied. For reference, the ice creams sold by Crooked Spoon, one of the most underrated ice cream brands in America, feature 23% butterfat and possess a unique stretchiness. These qualities make you pause and appreciate what is on your spoon in more detail. Indeed, mouthfeel was my main critique of Publix's eggnog premium ice cream, which scored well on all other fronts.

Trader Joe's eggnog Greek yogurt comes at a lower price than Chobani's version, but don't let that fool you; it's still a worthy competitor to the mainstream Greek yogurt brand. In fact, you might say that Trader Joe's product is more authentic since it relies not only on a set of ambiguous natural flavors and spices, but also on a clearly specified eggnog base. This base includes standard eggnog ingredients like sugar, egg yolk, and nutmeg. Trader Joe's version of eggnog Greek yogurt is more filling and slightly sweeter than Chobani's. Nutritionally speaking, it has over twice the amount of fat (not necessarily a bad thing!), but the same amount of calcium, potassium, and protein.

Even though Trader Joe's actual eggnog has been disappointing in the past, I relished the flavors and textures of this yogurt. It's a hair closer in flavor to eggnog than Chobani's version, with the nutmeg being stronger and even reaching the nose. This yogurt is also much yellower, but no need to clutch your pearls: There aren't any artificial colors in this product. Turmeric and annatto are instead responsible for its appealing hue. I would recommend Trader Joe's eggnog Greek yogurt over Chobani's version, especially for those who are cognizant of their budget this holiday season.

Jeni's Boozy Eggnog ice cream might be a splurge for many people (I found one pint for $8.49), but if you have the budget to try it once, you might save your pennies to purchase it again before the season ends. Compared to the other ice creams on this list, Jeni's version features a much shorter ingredient list that specifically includes salted custard. It's like a fusion between frozen custard and ice cream, two different desserts. Plus, even though I wasn't asked to show my ID at checkout, this product stars Uncle Nearest whiskey, an old, well-revered brand with many awards to its name.

Although the initial flavor of Jeni's Boozy Eggnog ice cream did not blow me away, the whiskey aftertaste certainly did. Due to its bold flavor, I found this ice cream very different from the other eggnog-flavored products I sampled. It was less reliant on warm spices and nutmeg, instead giving the spotlight over to the whiskey and the Madagascar bourbon vanilla extract. Even though I enjoyed the texture of Publix's ice cream more, the flavor of Jeni's was so superior that it earned a higher ranking.

When I found these bolis in a rompope (or Mexican eggnog) flavor, I was delighted and looked forward to trying a dessert I rarely encounter at my usual grocery stores. If you amped up the slushiness of ice cream, then served it in a pop, that would be a boli. These treats are often eaten in social settings throughout Latin America and are frequently fruity. This particular product, sold by Helados Mexico, features water, milk, cream, and cane sugar for its base, while the eggnog flavor is imparted by egg yolk and natural flavors.

Traditionally, people tear off the corners of bolis before sucking out the creamy filling. Doing this allowed me to savor the dessert more slowly. Plus, one pop was too much for me to finish in a single sitting, so I was able to stick it back in the freezer for later. The texture of this product was superb and not too icy; I was able to chew it slightly as well as let it melt in my mouth. The spices played a complementary role rather than an overpowering one, and as a result, I was able to appreciate the flavor of the cream itself. Turmeric and annatto lent these bolis a beautiful yellow hue without it seeming fake. Ultimately, these pops were refreshing yet rich, and they were distinct from all the other products on this list. As such, they easily earned the top ranking.

I sought to include products from a variety of categories, such as breakfast items, desserts, and beverages. None of the above products claim to be eggnog, but instead, they are inspired by the flavors and ingredients of the holiday classic. While testing these items, I kept an eye on flavor and texture; though I occasionally noted cost, I did not use it as a metric for ranking products. Nor did I look at nutrition labels before tasting and reviewing these products.