The One Thing Bobby Flay Absolutely Refuses To Do When Dining Out At Restaurants

Professional chefs have their own lingo, like "'86-ing" a menu item or requesting "hands" ("The Bear" fans, rise up). But, when the pros are on the other side of the equation (i.e. dining out at another chef's restaurant), they often follow another, personal shepherding guidebook — and for Michelin-starred Bobby Flay, that means never, ever sending a dish back. As Flay shared in an interview with PopSugar, "I won't send food back to the chef. Never."

While Flay declined to elaborate on his personal motivations behind the refusal, it's no secret that sending food back at a restaurant can be uncomfortable. There are, of course, instances (like dietary needs or food allergens) in which sending food back is no question. But, in more subjective situations (like "this isn't what I ordered" or "my soup is cold"), a dining etiquette code of conduct applies.

Flay himself noted that it isn't a problem when guests at his restaurants send food back. "It happens in all my restaurants for one reason or the other," he told the outlet. "I want my customers to be happy, and I will try to the end of the world to make them happy. That's it." Readers who have worked in the hospitality industry will know that, in general, two truths apply here: 1. Restaurants value customer satisfaction over the slight inconvenience of remaking a meal. 2. If you send a plate back during peak dinner hours or another rush, be patient while your new meal is prepared.

Your server is the conduit between front-of-house and back-of-house, and they want to help you rectify any issues. Be respectful and polite in alerting them, say "please" and "thank you," avoid making a scene, and — if the staff takes good care of you — consider leaving a good online review letting other patrons know how the establishment ensured you had a positive experience. Ever wondered exactly what happens when you send food back at a restaurant? Tasting Table sat down with a professional culinary director to find out.

Nevertheless, to proactively help ensure the best dining experience, fellow celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain advised ordering whatever dish a particular restaurant is known for. If you're eating at a steakhouse, order a steak; get the falafel from the falafel place. By sticking to an establishment's specialty, guests are more likely to ensure a great meal. 

As for Bobby Flay, he similarly sticks to ordering his favorites. At a seafood joint, for instance, "I don't easily have crushed ice at home, so if I can get oysters or anything else served on ice, that's what I go for," he told PopSugar. "[Cod] just doesn't taste like anything, so I don't bother [ordering it]." Flay also swears by the burgers at J.G. Melon on New York's Upper East Side, where (ostensibly) the burgers are always cooked exactly to temperature. More than sending food back, the chef famously has less tolerance for overcooking.