15 Caffeine-Free Drinks At Dutch Bros, Ranked

Dutch Bros is one of many seemingly popular coffee (and everything else iced or blended) box shops that are popping up everywhere. These places have every flavor of coffee and can serve it blended, iced, light foam, half-caf, almond milk ... you get my point. They also generally have all the smoothies, hot chocolates, lemonades, sodas, spritzers — an overwhelmingly large menu!

And while it may seem ridiculous to have such a big menu, these shops hold a great purpose. They are for everyone — the family with tired adults and kids wanting slushies, the large group of finicky friends, and the single with a sweet tooth who wants variety. But not all these places are good at juggling such a large menu, and I wanted to see which side of the fence Dutch Bros fell on.

So, I went and gathered the widest variety of caffeine-free drinks that I could manage by myself. This wasn't about coffee; this was about getting a candy fix in a cup. If I were going to start swinging through Dutch Bros, it was going to have to give me something better than the places I already frequent: the perfect level of flavor I usually order and just enough of the sugar I craved that I could finish the entire drink. And while we may disagree on flavor due to personal preference, I still think you will want to see how these drinks ranked.

I like a good smoothie; they make me feel like I'm perhaps making a healthy choice, but still getting a sugar buzz. I think across the board, there's a general understanding of what you get when you order a smoothie. There should be a thick consistency that still seems icy, possibly bits of fruit, and a good balance of flavor. I also think creamy and refreshing is on par. Well, the Dutch Bros mango smoothie was none of those things.

The aroma did not prepare me for the taste. While a slight bit pungent, the scent coming from the smoothie was tart mango. The taste, on the other hand, was overwhelming, rancid, rank, and thick. I recoiled, not understanding what I had just consumed. The consistency and flavor level were that of a thawed frozen juice concentrate. The actual taste was offensive, and I honestly believe it had to have been made incorrectly. However, I don't wish to test that theory.

In 2025, Dutch Bros introduced eight new "fizz" drinks to its sparkling water menu, and Palm Beach fizz was one of them. This drink is described as a mix of pomegranate and peach sparkling water that is given a citrus twist. It was a nice pink hue poured over ice, and it both looked and sounded like it would be a delightful choice for a hot summer day.

While there had been quite a few options between tasting this one and the mango smoothie, I was immediately taken back to the same not-so-great feeling. On the first drink, the flavor immediately had a recognizable tinge of "mango." It was nowhere near as bad as the smoothie, but the flavor was there. And then there was something else I would liken to the pit of an unripe peach, woody and green. I will say, I did enjoy the fizz, though. It had a playful, palate-prickling sensation. But other than that, this was another hard pass.

Joining the Palm Beach launch was the orange fizz, which is very similar. It's orange-flavored sparkling water that has been given a citrus twist. To me, it sounded and looked very much like orange soda, which is great. I love orange soda! I especially enjoy a craft orange soda. And with that enthusiasm in mind, I took a very long sip from the straw. It wasn't anything like orange soda.

Given the fact that this did not have any of the "mango" flavor of the bottom two, this immediately ranked higher. But the tartness that filled my mouth and caused my jaws to clench overshadowed any taste. I wasn't actually able to taste the orange flavor until after I swallowed the drink. And even then, the aftertaste carried a sour, citric aesthetic that leaned into chemical. I didn't want to take any subsequent sips, let alone finish the entire drink. I'm not exactly sure who this drink would please.

The green apple smoothie is the only option that gave me initial pause. Green apple seems like a very candied, artificial flavor. While it's one that I enjoy, it's not something I ever imagined in smoothie form. But you never know. I was sad to see that while I had just driven a very short distance on a cool day, the smoothie had separated by the time I got home. This did not happen with any of the other drinks, so there was concern there. And when I did try it, I found that my initial thoughts of a green apple smoothie being a good idea were on point.

Unlike the lower-ranked drinks, this was the first to actually give me a candy-sweet flavor that resembled what I expected. Sadly, it was too much in all regards. The flavor of green apple, while true to its name, was too strong, and the sweetness was too high. It would be impossible to drink much of this, but drinking a few sips was at least plausible.

First and foremost, I have to say that the shakes at Dutch Bros made me angry. When I'm told I'm getting a "shake," I assume milkshake. I am telling you that is not what you will get at Dutch Bros. I can't even tell you what you will get because, as hard as I looked, I could not find a definitive answer to what went into these "shakes." I could only find, in multiple places, that these drinks are a "take on a classic shake." I feel you deserve to know that.

The birthday cake shake did resemble a milkshake, delightfully topped with various colored dot sprinkles and texturally creamy, cold, and thick. There were no icy bits or any hint of real milk. However, it did taste like birthday cake right off the bat, which put it immediately above those ranked lower. But it got so true to its name, it started tasting like what I imagined it would be like to drink cold cake batter. Although it went down a bit easier than the green apple, the sweetness built quickly and didn't fade easily from the palate. The consistency also seemed to become thicker with each drink.

It didn't surprise me that this electric berry lemonade was a bright blue. If you're going to start mixing flavors, you may as well mix up some fun colors to go with them. And the electric berry lemonade mix was a combination of lemonade, lime, and blue raspberry syrup, which, from reading the product description, could possibly be a singular syrup.

The flavor combination of lime and blueberry sat apart from the lemonade and was hard to truly grasp, but gave the impression of something faint and artificial. The lemonade was very tart and overshadowed almost all the "electricity" the berry was trying to get through. It resembled powdered Country Time lemonade that hadn't been mixed with enough water, with a heightened sweetness, sharpness, and lack of any real lemon attributes. But with all that being said, it was more palatable, easier to drink, and easier to cleanse from the palate than those that had come before.

The poppin' boba berry lemonade is made with lemonade, strawberry boba, and blackberry syrup. The lemonade portion of this drink was still very strong, but tasted as if it were a bit more diluted than the electric berry lemonade. The differences between this lemonade and the one below are very slight. The blackberry didn't even come through enough to really cause any obvious variation on the fruit front. But the strawberry boba was fun.

I had never had boba and was wary of how they would taste and feel texturally. I have skipped trying them in the past, as it seemed strange to add artificial chunkiness to a drink. But I felt that they should make an appearance in the ranking, as you can get boba added to many of the menu options. In this case, they made a difference. The tiny bursts of strawberry flavor were both entertaining and tasty enough to edge this lemonade up a notch.

If you notice, all the lemonades are ranked together. And it is mostly because the harshness of the lemonade's tartness becomes less noticeable as the ranking gets higher. Just as the poppin' boba beat the electric berry by a nose, the OG gummy bear does the same here. The lemonade in this concoction is mixed with watermelon, pomegranate, passion fruit, and grapefruit syrup, and it shares the spotlight. Although I'm not sure it had much of a choice with so much competition.

The grapefruit and the lemonade both greeted my taste buds at the same time. And while one would expect that in and of itself to cause a mouth puckering event, it was rather well-balanced. While I couldn't pinpoint the other added fruit flavors, I could tell there were some in attendance. It was almost like having multiple Jolly Ranchers all at once. Altogether, this lemonade was tolerable, and I could see myself sipping from it considerably more than those ranked lower.

If I am going to have lemonade, I enjoy a strawberry lemonade made with strawberry puree. That and cherry limeades have gotten me through many hot summers. So, I was happy to try what Dutch Bros had to offer. While this was made with strawberry syrup and mixed directly in with the lemonade, creating a dark pink beverage, based on the previous drinks I tried, I wasn't going to be picky. Luckily, I didn't have to be.

The lemonade and the strawberry flavors both came through in this drink. Finally! Here was something that resembled what I had imagined it would be. The lemonade was still a bit intense for my tastes, but the strawberry gave it a sweeter, fruity quality that softened the edges of the sharp tart. If I'm searching for a strawberry lemonade, Dutch Bros might not be at the top of the list. But if I had to drink a Dutch Bros lemonade, then this one would be my first pick.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream is a childhood favorite that I still enjoy on occasion. So, when I saw the ninja shake was made with white chocolate and crème de menthe, I had to try it. Of course, that decision was made before I knew that this was not going to be the kind of shake I was hoping for, with this option only giving the creaminess of watered-down skim milk.

I was surprised, due to the spirit of most of the other flavors, that this beverage tasted almost bland. There was only a whisper of mint and white chocolate, but I can't say it was a complete turnoff. After being punched in the palate multiple times by other drinks, a soft touch was well received. This shake was nowhere near the thickness of the birthday cake, and there were obvious crystals of ice that created an almost slushy texture. Much easier to drink than any that had come before. But I knew there just had to be something better.

The cotton candy shake is said to be made with blue raspberry and white chocolate. The taste gave no hint of blue raspberry. However, I believe it is the creaminess of the white chocolate that helped this shake come out above the other shakes I tried. Paired with the same ice crystals I found in the ninja shake, this more resembled the traditional milkshake I had imagined as far as texture went. Although it was still pretty far off.

The flavor, however, made me think, "This is what the birthday cake shake should have tasted like." It was candy sweet but not necessarily cotton candy. There was a richness, which I believe came from the white chocolate, that lent itself to a cake-like aesthetic. Not exactly what the name implies, but tastier by far than those that rank lower. Had it been a proper milkshake, I believe the additional sweet cream would have moved this up the list even further.

At first, I thought it was odd to rank hot cocoa alongside smoothies and sodas, but after all had been tasted, I was more than glad they were a part of the ranking. When I went looking for perfectly balanced flavors and exquisitely executed levels of sweetness, the cocoa brought game. And while it was almost 70 degrees outside when I took my first sip of this drink, the sun warming my face, I sat back easily and released a satisfied sigh.

The cocoa was mild but milk chocolatey. And the salted caramel was rich and buttery. On first taste, I found no flaw, which allowed me to continue enjoying the beverage. But it wasn't too long before I noticed I could no longer taste the chocolate. As the minutes ticked by from my last drink, the taste of butter rum LifeSavers became strong in my mouth. The original flavor had morphed and been replaced. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but it drifted from its initial charm and would keep me from enjoying an entire serving.

The watermelon sparkling soda seemed, in name and appearance, to be the same as the fizz. However, these drinks are made with sparkling soda and syrups, watermelon syrup to be specific in this instance, instead of flavored sparkling water. And that apparently makes a big difference. Perhaps it's the simplicity of the drink that allows it to be better executed than the rest, but for all intents and purposes, this was a nicely flavored soda.

The watermelon was prominent without going overboard. The sweetness level was less than that of a regular soda but still adequately satisfying. The carbonation factor was pleasant. It took only a couple of sips for me to realize that this tasted very much like the functional Slice sodas I had recently tasted. It gave something of a healthy vibe that I can only imagine came, ironically, from the artificial flavor. But it was the first option on the list that I could see drinking almost entirely.

The blue raspberry sparkling soda had all the attributes of the watermelon sparkling soda, but seemed elevated to a more craft soda level. The blue raspberry flavor was delightfully fruitier and more intense. And the sweetness factor seemed to be dialed up a notch. It was only after sitting back to enjoy a few more sips that it dawned on me that this was bringing back long-ago memories of SLUSH PUPPiE!

Blue raspberry SLUSH PUPPiEs, the sweet, fruity beverage that rocked the '70s, was always one of my favorites. And this sparkling soda was the closest I had come to tasting one in decades. This soda was kid-satisfyingly sweet, had ice I could sink my teeth into, and was berry delicious. While it met the criteria of flavor and sweetness, it didn't go above and beyond the set bar. And while that is more than most on this list achieved, the number one option blew them all out of the water.

This drink is made with chocolate milk and white chocolate, and I wondered if I would really be able to taste the white chocolate specifically. Would it replace the milk chocolate? Would I taste both?. As I took my first sip of the lovely, frothy-topped beverage, I let it settle on my tongue in order to allow it to answer my ponderings. And I'm more than delighted to say that I could indeed taste both chocolates. It was delicious.

There was an obvious flavor of milk chocolate, and it was indeed creamy. But part of that creaminess was the robust flavor of white chocolate. I was stunned. Both flavors were harmoniously balanced, neither one taking too much attention, and both adding their own flair. The sweetness was perfect as well, smooth and satisfying. This was more than just an ordinary hot chocolate and so much better than any of the other drinks on this list.

Dutch Bros wasn't a complete letdown. Ordering from the app wasn't difficult. The staff was amazingly friendly. The drinks had stickers over the straw holes so as not to spill as I was driving, which I really appreciated. And by all appearances, sans the green apple smoothie, when I got home and prepared to taste each drink, they looked like they would be fun!

I didn't taste them in any particular order, but made sure to keep the cold ones cold and the hot ones hot. Cleansing the cloyingly sweet and sometimes aggressive tastes from my palate took a lot of water and a few toothbrushings. But each of these beverages was tasted with a clean slate and given ample opportunity to offer me the perfectly flavored and succinctly sweet beverage I was looking for.

I set out to take my usual three sips, but some of these flavors made that an impossible venture. And it's the ones that were easier to get down that moved up in ranking, for the most part. The top three were the only ones that made any palatable sense. And while the white chocolate cocoa was delightful, it wasn't enough for me to put Dutch Bros on my list for sweet tooth satisfaction.