The One Topo Chico Hard Beverage To Avoid Buying

Topo Chico sweeps popular competitors in the hard seltzer category, from High Noon to Truly and more. To get to the bottom of "the best of the best," Tasting Table sampled eight Topo Chico hard beverages – and even though we liked the brand as a whole, one offering had to rank last. Ultimately, Topo Chico's Exotic Pineapple hard seltzer fell (hard) to the bottom of the pack.

Admittedly, determining which sipper is "best" treads on some treacherously subjective terrain. I'm personally a fan of Ruby Grapefruit White Claw, for example, but won't even touch Watermelon or Green Apple. So we assembled our Topo Chico ranking based on "the balance between different types of flavors, including sweetness, fruitiness, and acidity." The Mexican mineral water brand's website describes its 4.7% ABV Exotic Pineapple hard seltzer as a "tart, ripe pineapple [flavor] with added minerals for taste."

In the final product, any intended "tartness" was smothered by intense, cloyingly sweet, faux-tropical fruit tones. Our taste-tester even said the plastic-pineapple profile "lacks the acidity I'm craving when I reach for something fruity." Instead, "despite there only being 2 grams of sugar [...] compared to other pineapple seltzers I've tried, this one felt a bit heavy-handed."

The Exotic Pineapple flavor is available as part of Topo Chico's variety pack. A 12-pack runs for $16.99 at a Target in Chicago — although, Target customer reviews don't seem to be digging the Exotic Pineapple flavor, either. One writes, "Not good. So disappointed! My sister and I both spilled ours out. We opened the pineapple and mango [...] Bad aftertaste. Bad taste in general." Others agree, "Nope [...] The 'tangy lemon lime' flavor tasted like syrup to me? The rest of the flavors were underwhelming." The only flavor mentioned in positive reviews is Topo Chico's Strawberry Guava hard seltzer – the unconventional double-fruit bevy that topped our Topo Chico ranking, too.

It's worth noting that some imbibers seem to like Exotic Pineapple. Seltzer Nation lauds the drink as being sweet yet dry on the palate, with a light, refreshing mouthfeel. Still, elsewhere online, a Reddit thread calls Topo Chico hard seltzers "the La Croix of alcohol. Barely noticeable fruit taste," to which other commenters echo, "Not a fan. Only flavor I liked was the strawberry."

It might be worth a try to use this hard seltzer as an effervescent cocktail mixer. On its own, however, we're reaching right past Exotic Pineapple in the hard seltzer variety pack and grabbing literally any other Topo Chico can, thanks.