5 Store-Bought Apple Pies, Ranked From Worst To Best

'Tis (always) the season to bake a perfect apple pie. The dessert may be most prolific in the autumnal months, when all you can do after a trip to the apple orchard is bake pie after pie. But, personally, I'm always down for a slice of indulgence. Gooey, cinnamon-laden apples piled high with a crumbly coating? Yes, please. I have my go-to homemade recipe for a custardy buttermilk apple streusel pie that's won awards — well, it won the pie contest my family members had when I was a teen. Sure, two of the three judges were my friends. But they weren't biased, I swear.

Anyway, all of that is to say that I know my way around an apple pie, and I'm pretty picky about what's definitely in my top five favorite desserts of all time. I provide that context because, well, I really didn't love any of the store-bought apple pies I tried for this ranking. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but any homemade pie will be better than one you grab from the frozen section at your local Kroger. Yet, when considering the five apple pies I tested for this piece, there was a clear hierarchy, and if you don't have the time or energy for your own apple pie endeavors, my top pick wouldn't be a bad option to go with. I ranked the following based on the flavor and texture profiles of both the filling and the crust (see the end of the piece for a more in-depth explanation of my ranking criteria).

I had high hopes for Banquet's mini-sized apple pie, and I included it in this ranking for a very particular reason. Namely, sometimes you don't want a whole apple pie sitting around, especially if you live on your own. I hoped this pie would be a viable option for those having small holiday gatherings, catering to different allergen preferences, or just wanting a single-serve apple pie to satiate a craving. Unfortunately, after trying this, I won't be touching it with a 10-foot pole.

Sure, Banquet is known for having more affordable frozen foods, but you'll take a hit in quality if you purchase this apple pie. It was the only one on this list I actively disliked. Structurally, it was very thin. No apple chunks spilled from the pie as is suggested on the box — the filling of the slice I cut was nearly as thick as the crust, which is to say, there was hardly any body to this bake. Moreover, I didn't like the flavor, which tasted of canned apple pie filling and sugar. This pie had by far the most "processed" taste of anything on this list, and I couldn't identify any cinnamon in the filling. Unfortunately, this pie was an easy contender for last place.

Sara Lee's Dutch Apple Pie looks promising at first, promoting "orchard picked apples & crunchy streusel" and "made in batches from scratch" on the box. And there's no denying the appeal of the slice pictured on the packaging. Even the finished product doesn't look too bad, though I was disappointed that it didn't get as golden-brown as I'd hoped for. Still, I was optimistic before taking a bite of this pie — while I didn't love it, it was eons better than my last-place selection.

The biggest "pro" of Sara Lee's pie is that it was easy to get an intact slice from pie pan to plate (a structural integrity thing that some of my later pies struggled with). But, personally, I'll take flavor over structure any day. It tasted alright — it didn't have much of the "processed" taste of the last apple pie, and I got little hints of cinnamon here and there. My biggest issue was its mouthfeel. This pie's filling was incredibly sticky and gooey, and while that may be some consumers' preferred pie texture, it certainly isn't mine. It felt like eating liquified candy, and the pie's so-so flavors didn't do enough to lift it out of "meh" territory. 

I'd give Heath's Toffee Apple Pie the award for being the most aesthetically pleasing pie of the bunch. If I were at a gathering and choosing a slice of pie based on sight alone, I'd probably pick this one. While it was marginally better than the apple pie from Sara Lee, it didn't live up to what was promised on the box, and once again, I had some textural issues with this one. 

Getting a solid slice is a bit of a messy ordeal, but it didn't present too many challenges. I was immediately wary of the topping, which cracked like hard sugar when I cut into the pie. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's worth a mention that I expected a more streusel-esque topping, consistent with what's pictured on the box. After taking a bite, I didn't have any major complaints about the flavors, but I didn't get much in the way of Heath toffee, especially from the topping. Moreover, the top "streusel" layer stuck in my teeth and wasn't the most fun to try to chew. I didn't actively dislike this pie, but it also didn't give me much to write home about. 

Visually, I was not wowed by Safeway's Signature Select apple pie. The crust is visibly a little burnt, as is some of the filling that bubbled over during the baking process, neither of which bodes well for this pie. I'm inclined to think this could have been a top-spot contender had it not been overbaked, but alas, that wasn't the case here. If you're so inclined, grab a fresh apple pie from the bakery section of your own Safeway, and let me know how you fare.

Being slightly overbaked, I found the pie had a subtle astringent character that I wasn't fond of. Still, I couldn't deny that this pie tasted more natural than the previous offerings. The apple chunks were apparent and had some body to them; it was very easy to get a whole piece of pie out of the pan, and the pie wasn't overly sweet in the slightest. The filling had none of that syrupy quality that turned me off to the prior choices. The crumble topping was fine but nothing special, though again, I may have had a better opinion if it hadn't been baked for so long. Overall, my experience was obviously marred by the burnt sections, but this pie still fared better than any of the previous ones. 

Marie Callender's has two apple pies available, and I chose the Dutch apple pie because, well, I'll never say no to streusel. This pie was the only one that required a bit more prep. First, you bake the pie, and then you spread the streusel topping just before the last 10 minutes of bake time. I didn't find that to be a hassle in the slightest. It's important to mention that while the Marie Callender's apple pie was indisputably the best of the ones I tried, I still can't rave about it, and you won't find me waxing poetic about it anytime soon.

Nevertheless, I finished an entire piece of this pie, if you could even call it a "piece." A spoon is a more fitting tool to get this pie onto your plate, but again, structure was in no way a primary criterion when ranking the pies. The Marie Callender's apple pie was pretty flavorful, and I got enough cinnamon appeal to be satisfied (I could have still used more, but hey, I love cinnamon). It boasted some great textural contrast between the streusel and the filling, and I didn't notice anything sticky about either element in the slightest. I liked the larger apple chunks present in this pie, and I appreciated that they still had some bite to them, which made this more akin to the pies I make at home. Can it beat a homemade apple pie? Probably not. Was it the best of all the options listed here? Absolutely.

To choose apple pies for this ranking, I went to a few stores and grabbed what I could find — though, being that I'm writing this during the holiday season, many standard options weren't available (looking at you, bakery-fresh pies). Of the pies I was able to pick up, I ranked each based primarily on its flavors, and my initial assumption that all of the pies would taste pretty similar was quickly dismantled. 

I showed a preference for pies with a nice cinnamon appeal and a noticeable crumble topping. A secondary factor was texture. I didn't love the sticky mouthfeel of Sara Lee's pie, which is a big reason it got such a low spot on this list. I didn't take into consideration prep or baking time — the only noticeable difference was that, while every other pie went straight to the oven with no extra prep steps, Marie Callender's required you to spread the streusel topping on with a fork before the final 10 minutes of baking time. It wasn't difficult, which is why that pie was still able to earn the top spot.