The Worst Canned Crab Meat Brand Is Also One Of The Cheapest

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Here at Tasting Table, we're all about a good deal. From affordable Costco snacks to low-cost Aldi bites (not to mention a world of homemade recipes on a dime), few things taste better than great food at a great price. Alas, there are some instances in which foodies really do get what they pay for — and Geisha brand canned crab meat is sorely such an example. In our definitive ranking of seven canned crab meat brands, the offering from Geisha fell to last place.

Top notes include an off-putting fishiness, followed by an unpleasant aftertaste. As our taste-tester noted, "There was a distinct aroma of fish when I opened the can, and the flavor was similar — the meat tastes more like fish than sweet crab." Although, Geisha's canned crab meat wasn't lacking anything in the sweetness department, either. According to our reviewer, "The third ingredient is sugar, and you can tell. There's a sweetness to it that isn't coming naturally from the crab, evidently provided by the added sugar." The ingredients list also includes additives like calcium disodium EDTA and sodium metabisulphite.

In determining this product ranking, our taste-tester judged the seven canned crab offerings based on taste, texture, and actual likeness to something that came from the ocean (imagine). To that end Geisha's canned crab couldn't be redeemed even by our most ambitious stretch of the imagination.

Texture-wise, the product might have performed even worse. Instead of toothy chunks of meat, buyers will find ultra-fine shreds of meat-adjacent-looking crab. We aren't alone in this criticism, either. Amazon customer reviews mention a mushy, watery texture and overall low quality. One buyer simply describes it as "not very 'crablike.'" Another detractor said, "This product is not very good. Actually it's very bad [...] I disliked that the contents of the can did not resemble crabmeat. It was mostly mush." Elsewhere online, Walmart reviews rate Geisha's canned crab meat a dismal 1.8 out of 5 stars, echoing specific qualms such as "Mostly water. Mushy. Needs spices. Unclear what kind of crab this was," and "Not good. Mushy. No chunks. Not much flavor."

The brand has been around since 1912, and while it might have boasted high-quality in the past, Geisha's canned crab meat is one product that fails to uphold a quality-centric reputation. Ordinarily, we champion canned crab meat as an undersung, versatile, shelf-stable superstar. However, in this case, Geisha brand's offering sorrily proves canned crab's naysayers right. At $18.92 for a three-pack of six-ounce cans on Amazon (just over $6 per can), the price is right. But, that's as far as any positive marks go. This offering would do a disservice to your go-to crab recipes, and it doesn't belong anywhere near your pantry.