What To Do If Another Restaurant Diner Is Disrupting Your Meal

Surely you've found yourself in the tricky situation where all you wanted was a nice, calm meal at a restaurant, only to be seated near a table that's occupied by some of the worst people to dine with. The kids are throwing spaghetti on the floor, the adults are yelling like they're at a hockey game, somebody brought their own bluetooth speaker ... oh my. It's hard to determine the best way to handle such a circumstance. On one hand, the loud group has every right to be at that restaurant; on the other hand, certain manners are expected in a public place. To help you out the next time you find yourself in this pickle, we spoke to Nikesha Tannehill Tyson, an etiquette expert from the Swann School of Protocol in Shreveport and author of the book "Going Public."

"If another person's behavior impacts your dining experience, address it politely or ask the restaurant staff for assistance," she told us. Restaurant servers have their own pet peeves with customers, and if diner behavior is truly outrageous, they will likely help you out and speak to the disruptive people for you. But sometimes the staff cannot or doesn't want to intercede, in which case the responsibility falls on you. "Responding with polite phrases — such as 'Excuse me' or 'Would you mind' — rather than irritation can help keep the situation from escalating," the expert said. Any loud and combative escalations would further disrupt the atmosphere within the restaurant, which is probably the last thing you want to do.

When we spoke to Tyson, we had to ask the obvious question: What if the disruptive diners are influencers who have turned the restaurant into their personal studio? "When filming interferes with your meal with bright lights, noisy narration, or cameras directed toward your table, my first recommendation would be to quietly ask the restaurant staff if your party could be moved to another table, if one is available," she responded, pointing out that this silent action is "a gracious solution and allows everyone to continue enjoying their experience without creating an awkward interaction."

Some eateries are more open to influencers than others, especially as TikTok can actually help restaurants find success. In the modern day, some level of tolerance to public filming should probably be expected, but it's also totally okay if you don't want that to be a part of your dining experience — you're definitely not alone. In fact, several restaurants around the world have banned cell phones and taking photographs. If an influencer-free atmosphere is a big requirement for you, it's worth checking out the spot's policy on these matters. And, perhaps, avoid restaurants when their reviews are full of influencers.

It's fair to point out that not every influencer has bad manners; there's a difference between someone discreetly taking stylized images of their meal for Instagram and someone blasting a TikTok audio while doing a dance in front of your steak dinner. However, Tyson did highlight a common issue people have with social media videos: Diners don't want to end up in them.

"If moving is not an option, it is acceptable to simply ask that you and your tablemates not be included in the filming," she said. Once again, being polite is your best bet. "A clear and respectful request: 'Would you mind adjusting your camera angle? We'd prefer not to be in the background.' If needed, allow the restaurant staff to handle the situation from there," she advised.

A kind and reasonable person will honor your request, whether you're dealing with a content creator or just a regular diner. Most of us don't wish to offend anyone and are happy to make accommodations. That said, it's worth keeping in mind that restaurants are under no obligation to entirely curate the dining experience to your individual preferences. "Remember, public spaces are shared spaces where content creators and diners deserve courtesy and respect," Tyson pointed out. If you want to eat completely on your own terms, you might be better off just staying at home. As the expert concluded, "Everyone shares the responsibility of making the space comfortable for those around them." That includes you.