I Tried 14 Chocolate Bars From Traders Joe's And Ranked Them Worst To Best

Trader Joe's carries a collection of chocolate bars that Willy Wonka himself would be proud of. It's both surprising and not surprising, given the uniquely eclectic nature of the store. Although Trader Joe's only stocks around 4,000 SKUs at any given time — which pales in comparison to standard supermarkets when it comes to things like fresh produce or household staples — it does have serious depth in other areas. Every regular Trader Joe's shopper is familiar with its extensive selection of dips, frozen appetizers, and ground coffee. Chocolate bars also undoubtedly fall into this category.

It's almost overwhelming when you first stumble upon the chocolate stash in the store's dry foods aisle. It's like taking a tour of some of the world's most renowned chocolate-producing regions, with stops in Switzerland, Belgium, and even Peru. There are both milk chocolate and dark chocolate, though dark chocolate seems to be most prominent. Some feature nuts, and one even experiments with coffee, but all are Trader Joe's-branded, affordable, and transparent about their ingredients — usually listing their cocoa percentage right on the wrapper. 

Any chocolate lover would be at a crossroads standing in front of the sweet selection, debating which one to pick — which is why I went for all of them. I recently picked up 14 TJ's chocolate bars, tasted them, and ranked them from my least to most favorite. The best of the best were balanced, smooth, and oh-so decadent.

When you hear organic, you may think of natural ingredients and fresh tastes. That wasn't what I was picking up from this dark chocolate bar, though.

It does have the natural part covered, as it's made with all the right ingredients and none of the wrong ones. Only organic cocoa mass (essentially ground cocoa nibs), cane sugar, and cocoa butter make up the recipe. However, on the tongue, it delivers a punch that's as rugged and unrefined as the medieval village imagery on the front of the box. At 73% cacao, the flavor leans strongly earthy, almost reminiscent of fermented red wine. It distracts from the lightly sweet and rich notes you would typically expect from dark chocolate, and crunchy pockets throughout didn't help its case.

This doesn't feel like the kind of chocolate bar you're meant to eat straight. That might explain why Trader Joe's suggests melting it into a cup of hot chocolate or onto strawberries instead, presumably to soften some of that intense flavor. Maybe that would have saved it from my last-place spot.

You can throw in almonds or any kind of nuts you want, but it's not going to significantly improve this organic dark chocolate bar. The same combination of cocoa mass, cane sugar, and cocoa butter makes up the base of this bar. According to Trader Joe's, this combo is supposed to lead with hints of coffee and caramel, but yet again, all I could focus on was that raw, root-like flavor that constantly lurks in the background.

There are a fair number of almonds scattered throughout — in sizable pieces, too — but their toasty flavor is lost under the strength of the chocolate. This may just be me, but I also had a hard time biting into this bar. Between the thicker-set chocolate and the crunchy almond pieces, it teeters on being impenetrable. I resorted to using my back teeth to break through it because I wasn't taking any chances.

There's a lot going on with the name of this bar. But all you really need to know is that this chocolate bar is full of ingredients from Madagascar and that it's not one of Trader Joe's best, mostly due to a texture problem and confusing taste.

As the website explains, Madagascar's climate makes it ideal for growing all kinds of things, including both cocoa and a superior kind of vanilla bean. I typically love the sweet and buttery taste of the country's vanilla in other products — like in Panera's vanilla lattes or Graeter's ice cream. But it doesn't quite sit right with me in this chocolate bar. The texture is chalky rather than smooth, and the flavor is bold but in an ambiguous way. It's not very sweet, nor is it as sharply rich as other dark chocolates. It sits somewhere in the middle in a chocolatey no-man's-land. It reminded me of generic confectioner's chocolate that you would use for baking. It's decent and thankfully devoid of any overwhelming earthiness like the previous picks, but still not a winner.

If I picked my chocolate like I picked my wine — based on the bottle design — then I would have selected this bar. The imagery on the sleeve pulls you in, with a textural drawing of Peru's Rainbow Mountain, hinting at its Peruvian cocoa heritage. It's like a piece of art sitting on the Trader Joe's shelf, but unfortunately, much of its appeal stops at the packaging.

It's as simple a chocolate bar as you can get, consisting of just unsweetened chocolate and sugar. Even the squares of chocolate come unstamped and unadorned, and they taste about as boring as they look. It's pure yet uninteresting, with just an edge of bitterness that leaves your mouth dry. The smooth texture is really the only thing that promotes it above the single-origin Madagascar-based chocolate. But those floral notes Peruvian cocoa is known for didn't make an appearance, and even though it's supposedly made by a "renowned European chocolatier," it didn't make a strong impression.

The Coffee Buzz Bar has an acquired taste that I haven't acquired quite yet. But I don't want to discount the quality and craftsmanship that goes into it. Chocolate and coffee go together like two rich and decadent peas in a pod, and here they build on each other's intense flavors. Coffee beans from Colombia pack in an espresso-like flavor, before roasted Colombian cocoa nibs finish it off with bittersweet notes. There's no unwelcome grittiness, and I liked the slimmer profile that delivered a satisfying snap.

That being said, even for someone like me who is highly tolerant of dark chocolate and a devout daily coffee drinker, it was a bit aggressive. I would have preferred just a tad more vanilla, sugar, or something else to cut through some of that bitterness. I will applaud the merciful packaging that's split into four mini bars, though, and the 70 milligrams of caffeine make it the perfect cross between an afternoon pick-me-up and a sweet treat. I think it would appeal to people more than the organic dark chocolate or the pure Peruvian bar, but personally, it didn't land as one of my favorites.

All of Trader Joe's chocolate bars carry the Trader Joe's name. But there is a smaller selection of them that feel like the most generic, store-brand picks of the bunch. They're sold in packs of three and lack any kind of artwork or thoughtful design. Instead, they're wrapped in a clear layer of cellophane, giving them a look that feels closer to a pack of gum, or even cigarettes, than your typical chocolate bar.

The milk chocolate flavor — made with Belgian chocolate — was the first of the five standard-style bars I picked up, and it was the least compelling out of all of them. It's not bad; it just falls into the abyss of average, everyday milk chocolate. The smooth texture and ultra-milky flavor land it somewhere between a chocolate bunny and a Hershey's bar on the classic chocolate scale. It could certainly be worse, like the slew of dark chocolate bars that came before it, but it could also be much better.

You can probably guess the name brand this bar takes after. If the mention of crispy rice in the title isn't enough to tip you off, then maybe the rippled, bumpy backside will jostle loose memories of a Nestlé Crunch bar.

Personally, I've never been a big Crunch bar fan, so I was surprised that I liked this rendition as much as I did. It's made with unsweetened chocolate, cocoa butter, sugar, whole milk powder, and vanilla flavor and has a similar feel and flavor profile to the plain Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Bar. But it's the rice crisps that make all the difference. They're evenly spread throughout the bar — even all the way to the edges — so each taste is accompanied by that crackly crunch. That textural change distracts from some of the monotony of the chocolate itself and overall feels like a light yet still indulgent treat.

Mini foods just taste better. That's just how it is, and TJ's Mini Chocolate Bars are no exception to the rule. Both the dark chocolate and milk chocolate versions ended up on my would-buy-again list. They're not exactly mini in the way you would expect. They come in longer, rod-shaped bars that are skinny and flat. This slender shape gave them a leg up on the competition. Pieces easily snap off and proceed to melt in your mouth. I don't usually think of dark chocolate as being that velvety smooth. I presume that may be the cocoa butter and those Belgian roots at work.

I don't necessarily think this is a gourmet confection worthy of any awards. It has a slight dryness to it that could be improved upon, and it doesn't hold a candle to my favorite nutty and sweet selections. But if you're craving dark chocolate, it gets the job done.

This feels like a grown-up chocolate bar. It's not the kind of treat that would appeal to sugar-loving children, but it's respectable in its own right — especially in the realm of dark chocolate.

In terms of color, it happens to be the darkest of the bunch, which I found surprising since it has just about the same cocoa percentage, or even less, than other dark chocolates on the Trader Joe's shelf. The flavor leans extra bittersweet, with a rich kiss at the end, but it never feels overwhelming on the palate. If you peek at the ingredient list, you'll find that it's refreshingly simple and built around unsweetened Belgian chocolate, sugar, and cocoa powder for a straightforward profile.

It has that distinctly adult appeal, just like black coffee or a good bourbon. It's less about sweetness and more about depth and quality. I found it to be a neutral, no-frills bar, but one I genuinely enjoyed. It even managed to edge out the mini dark chocolate bars by just a hair, thanks to its clean, well-balanced flavor.

This is the kind of milk chocolate I could mindlessly snack on, only to realize I'd somehow polished off the entire box. Not great for the diet, but good for the soul.

Once again, I'm loving the mini format here and how the chocolate easily breaks into pieces as you sink your teeth into it. Just as the packaging promises, it really is super smooth. The Belgian chocolate mixed with sugar, cocoa butter, and whole milk powder creates a wonderfully creamy texture, and the flavor is just sweet enough, with a touch of vanilla. It reminded me a lot of the texture and taste of Dove chocolate, which also prides itself on being silky smooth.

Although there are other Trader Joe's chocolate bars that I found to be more layered or luxurious, you can't go wrong with this pick. Plus, the individually wrapped bars make them the perfect on-the-go treat.

I like to think of these next two picks as bars of deconstructed Nutella. You still have cocoa, sugar, a vanilla component, and, of course, hazelnuts. But instead of being blended into a spreadable paste like Nutella, the raw ingredients meet inside one snackable slab of chocolate.

It's actually quite massive, weighing in at just over 7 ounces — compare that to around 1.5 ounces for the 3-pack Trader Joe's bars. It's also absolutely jam-packed with hazelnuts. The grocer wasn't fooling around when it added these in. The nuts cover every square inch of the bar, meaning you get the soft crunch in every bite.

I presume the hazelnuts and their roasted flavor are meant to be the star of the show and the main draw, but the chocolate itself is not to be outdone. A true product of Switzerland, it follows a traditional style and is made with slow-roasted beans. It's smoother and sweeter than many other dark chocolates, almost like a blend that lands somewhere between milk and dark. It's one of Trader Joe's best, and at this size, it's plenty shareable.

I thought the dark chocolate hazelnut bar was good. Then I tried the milk chocolate version. I should have guessed that this would be the better bar, considering the fact that the Swiss allegedly invented milk chocolate, and it remains their bread and butter, their pride and joy.

Alpine mountain milk and carefully selected cocoa beans combine here to create a truly quality chocolate bar. It has this buttery texture that allows it to melt in your mouth. The cocoa butter and milk fat certainly hold up their end of the bargain here. As for the flavor, it's rich but also has a balanced sweetness, so it doesn't feel like a sugar overload.

And we haven't even touched on the nuts yet. It feels like hazelnuts and milk chocolate were just meant to be. It pairs so much better than hazelnuts with dark chocolate. Given the bar's milkiness, each bite reminded me of a bowl of ice cream blanketed with nuts. It's probably the best milk chocolate you'll find at Trader Joe's – - although there were a couple of classic dark chocolate bars that surprised me.

This may seem like a boring choice for one of my top chocolate bars, but I stand by it. It's another one of those basic Belgian chocolate bars sold in a three-pack. It also has a very short and straightforward list of ingredients: unsweetened chocolate, sugar, cocoa butter, and an emulsifier. Needless to say, it's very unassuming. But I've come to learn that some of the best products often aren't the flashiest. Instead, they fly under the radar with their consistent quality.

The wrapping doesn't specify the percentage of cocoa that's infused into the bar — which is a rarity for the brand — but I would venture to guess it's lower than most of the other offerings. Even though it has that desirable raw cocoa flavor, it's not bittersweet to the point of being potent. I would describe it as semi-sweet instead, and it backs up these tasting notes with a polished texture. I like it because it feels like a gateway to dark chocolate bar. I think dark chocolate aficionados could still find satisfaction in the more mature flavor, while those who don't usually care for its intensity could also get on board. It's a dark chocolate for the masses.

Take everything positive I said about the previous dark chocolate bar and apply it here. This bar is also imported from Belgium. It shares the exact same ingredients and even comes in that same cellophane-wrapped three-pack. That means it still feels like an approachable dark chocolate confection, and would be appealing no matter which side of the chocolate spectrum you're on. 

The one important difference between this and the plain dark chocolate bar is obviously the inclusion of almonds. They're an excellent ingredient to add to chocolate. Not only do they provide a nice little crunch and a texture change-up, but those little slivers also bring out more of the chocolate's bittersweet flavor and add a touch of subtle earthiness to the bar. Together, they almost reminded me of Rocky Road ice cream, minus the marshmallow.

Personally, I wouldn't have minded a few more almond pieces, but I also respect the current ratio. It feels timeless, and I appreciate that it's an underdog pick that somehow won me over enough to earn my top spot.

I picked up every chocolate bar I could find at Trader Joe's, with the exception of the Pound Plus bars, and the newer Blonde Bar (which isn't technically real chocolate). I tasted each one and ranked them based on a few core criteria.

All of the bars featured fairly simple ingredient lists, which was a positive across the board. I paid close attention to where each chocolate came from and how well it reflected that origin. Texture was another key factor — the smoother the better. I was looking for an innate creaminess in milk chocolate and a polished feel in darker varieties. Then came taste. I wanted something indulgent and sweet, but not too sweet. A touch of bitterness was expected and welcome in the dark chocolate, as long as it was well-balanced. Lastly, I did give some consideration to how I thought the chocolate would be perceived by the masses. This is chocolate from Trader Joe's, after all, so it should feel luxurious but approachable at the same time.