Are Five Guys' Fries Way Overhyped?

If you search around the internet you will find people, professional chefs even, who proclaim with their whole chest that Five Guys makes the best french fries in America. More than one person holds this view. While I firmly believe everyone is entitled to an opinion, having one and being right are not the same thing. I cannot, by any metric that can be used to rate french fries, justify the belief that Five Guys make the best ones. So, in my opinion, they are greasy, often undercooked, flaccid, soggy, underwhelming logs of wasted potato potential. They fall far behind almost every other fast food chain that offers fries. Are Five Guys fries overhyped? Absolutely. Anyone declaring them better than the worst is overhyping them.

As a potato connoisseur who has enjoyed this tuber in its myriad forms for many years, I like to think that if I am biased, it is toward the potato rather than away from it. It takes effort to make me not like a potato dish. I will happily eat a microwaved shepherd's pie. Cafeteria tater tots? Love them. Hash browns should be eaten three meals a day. Baked potatoes are basically perfect. And french fries are absolutely glorious when done correctly. The problem is that Five Guys doesn't cook them correctly.

French fries should be crispy on the outside and soft inside when they're finished cooking. At the very least, they should be dry. But because Five Guys fills paper bags with fries piled on top of each other, they steam themselves inside the bag. The result is a nightmare.

As someone who has worked in kitchens, eaten at many restaurants, and heard from others who enjoy Five Guys, I understand the problem. I am aware that people have enjoyed Five Guys fries. Tasting Table even ranked them high on the list of fast food fries. I have heard rapturous tales of how delicious they are, how they're cooked in peanut oil to crisp them perfectly and infuse them with flavor. The problem is I have not experienced that. And I should not have to make special accommodations for that to happen. When I get my fries, I should be able to eat them and enjoy them right then, or even after I get them home.

It's not just steaming in the bag that ruins the fries by the time you get them home. There is also a tendency for them to be undercooked or possibly overcrowded in the fryer. The regular fries are also often horribly under-salted. No crisp, too much grease, not enough seasoning. That's three strikes and way out. You can't come back from that.

That Five Guys produces soggy fries is far from a niche complaint. I'm not alone here. Reddit thread after Reddit thread (after Reddit thread) echoes the same. It's an open secret. The defense for some people seems to be "sure, but you get a lot of them," since they give you extra fries. Quantity has overtaken quality, and that's a sad state of affairs. We all deserve a crispy, flavorful, well-seasoned french fry. Burying customers at the bottom of a greasy bag of floppy, underwhelming potatoes does a disservice to spud aficionados everywhere. Five Guys, put at least one guy on quality control and get your fry house in order.