The Steakhouse Napkin Etiquette You've Probably Broken Before

In an age of fast food and convenience, old-fashioned dining etiquette is often left by the wayside. That doesn't necessarily mean people are being complete heathens when they eat. It just means that many formal dining rules aren't as well-known as they once were. When it comes to enjoying a steak at a steakhouse, it's possible you've been given some incorrect advice about how to deal with gristle. If you've been using your napkin to remove it from your mouth, you've been committing an etiquette error. Instead, use your fork to remove it and place the sinewy bit on the side of your plate.

To be fair, taking a chewy piece of steak gristle out of your mouth is inelegant at the best of times. Doing it in a formal dining setting presents a problem. You don't want to be rude or draw attention to yourself. Using your napkin to make it appear you're simply wiping your mouth seems discreet. It seems reasonable. However, this presents the problem of what happens next. Whether left on the table or in your lap, that gristle still needs to be dealt with. If it's left in your napkin on the table, your server may pick it up and find an unpleasant surprise. If you leave it on your lap, it may roll off onto the floor and that's just as unfortunate. What seemed like a better idea is actually worse in the long run.

The modern concept of table manners and etiquette can be traced back to the 1500s. The process of etiquette was a slow one. At one point, it was considered polite to spit behind you, rather than on the table or another person. We've come a long way. The basic idea, however, was to look and act more refined. Etiquette exemplified the way "proper" people ate. Royalty, even. And the common folks learned to follow suit, because no one wanted to eat like an animal. That brings us to modern etiquette rules about napkins.

The rules, though they may seem arbitrary, were intended to help diners appear refined, cultured, and elegant. Some are just what we consider basic politeness. When you think about this issue with gristle, it makes sense. In the moment, using your napkin discreetly seems like a good idea, but the aftermath is rather uncouth. It's better to find a way to place it on your plate, rather than hide it so it's not a surprise for the server. They might drop it on their own clothes, a chair, or the floor.

When Tasting Table spoke to an expert about mistakes people make at steakhouses, they confirmed the proper way to remove inedible bits. You should use your fork or even your thumb and index fingers. If you don't want to leave it on display, you can cover it with a small piece of food from your plate. Out of sight, out of mind, but never place it where a server might accidentally drop it or pick it up with their hands. Discretion is important, but so is courtesy to those who are serving you.