The One Thing Restaurant Regulars Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Doing (But Usually Are)

There are a lot of rules to eating in restaurants, both spoken and unspoken. When you get to the status of being a "regular" somewhere, some of those rules disappear — you have more leeway to ask favors of the waitstaff, for example. But some things might feel tougher, like sending back a dish that didn't come out quite right. No one likes having to send food back, and it is especially troubling if you are concerned about hurting your status as a regular customer by coming off as one of "those people." But there are plenty of good reasons why you should send a dish back, and your status as a regular might even be a compelling argument for it.

Now, there are some obvious reasons to send a dish back. For instance, you got the wrong dish, your meal isn't cooked correctly (food safety is no joke), or you spot something that you are allergic to in the dish. These are all obvious, no-questions-asked reasons to return your food to the kitchen. But one that toes the line for many — and is where a regular customer really has something valuable to share — is if the food didn't come out tasting quite right.

If it's your first time in a restaurant and you order something that you end up finding a bit dull, it's not super cool to send that back. But if you are a regular, and your favorite meal comes out "meh," you probably ought to let someone know. The restaurant might actually be grateful for it.

Even if you don't mind the issue, let the waitstaff know if something is wrong with a dish. As a regular, you have an especially deep knowledge of how the food is supposed to taste. If something is wrong, you are the canary in the coal mine. It might feel awkward to speak up when there isn't a glaring error — like finding a piece of glass in your mashed potatoes — but your knowledge might be the only way that the restaurant catches wind of mistakes being made in the kitchen.

The problem might be as simple as a new cook in the kitchen who hasn't quite figured out the menu yet. In that case, giving them feedback that the food they're putting out isn't up to the standard of the establishment is helpful for everyone. They might grouse about it in the kitchen, but they need the feedback, and you need a meal of the quality that keeps you coming back.

What happens when you send food back at a restaurant varies on what was wrong with the dish. If it's just a touch undercooked, and otherwise untouched, it can probably just be slapped back on the grill for a minute. Otherwise, it might need to be completely remade. But that's alright. Restaurants are chaotic environments by nature, and mistakes are made. There is absolutely no shame in sending back a meal that isn't up to snuff.

Like most things in life, the best etiquette tip for sending food back at a restaurant is simply to be calm, polite, and explain yourself clearly. It is an intimidating thing to do, and it is tempting to just grin and bear it, but if your food isn't cutting it, you should say something. Realistically, no one is going to be upset. Your server doesn't want you to eat bad food, and neither does the cook, the manager, or the restaurant owner. All of their jobs are to create a good dining experience for you and they are there to help — so long as you are reasonable with them.

What that means is: Don't send dishes back unless there is a real issue, don't raise your voice, and don't make too much of a fuss. Just be calm and courteous about it. All you have to do is explain what's going on, and if the restaurant is any good — which it had better be if you're a regular there — they will fix things up for you as quick as they can.