The '70s Cereal Remembered For Its Surreal Commercial And Catchy Jingle

Just in time for Halloween, we've unearthed a retro cereal with a monstrous cast of mascots and a jingle that will haunt you — or at least, become instantly stuck in your head. Depending on your age, this gem might be one of the vintage cereals you don't remember anymore, or it might be the one you miss most, humming its theme song whistfully while you settle for more mundane offerings. The cereal we speak of is Freakies, which debuted in 1973. On its own, this cereal was about as un-freaky as could be — it was a puffed grain loop cereal similar to Cheerios. But the way its brand, Ralston, marketed it was unique to say the least. 

"The Freakies" were a crew of seven different creatures that were bumpy, lumpy, and variously hued. If you're more of a 1990s kid, think Nickelodeon show "Aaahh!!! Real Monsters" — the idea was to make what might otherwise be considered ugly or scary, cute and funny. The characters were Grumble, Boss Moss, Goody-Goody, Gargle, Cowmumble, Snorkeldorf, and Hamhose. Stories were created around the Freakies, which guided the commercial campaign for the cereal. A 1974 ad features the minute-long catchy "We Are the Freakies" jingle, and we learn the Freakies flock to the "Freakies tree" where they can get an endless supply of Freakies cereal. Commenters seem elated to hear the jingle again, expressing fond memories and how the tune has stayed with them. So, where did Freakies go?

Ralston was a company that merged with Purina in 1902 — yes, the Purina that makes dog food. The brand is behind some of the best breakfast cereals still around today, like Chex. However, it also spearheaded a strange and problematic social movement, so cereal fans might be glad to know it's not around anymore; its existing cereals were sold to General Mills in 1994. 

Ralston originally planned to make Freakie Flakes in 1972, but debuted the Freakies loops cereal in 1973 with the quirky characters and jingles. A major chapter in the history of how cereal became a quintessential breakfast food is that of how it's been marketed to children, whose brands have a huge impact on what their parents buy. The Freakies are another example of the cartoon mascots that became popular over cereal's history in the 20th century in order to engage kids. Another element of this was prizes in cereal boxes; Freakies did have specially marked boxes with different Freakie character toys.

Freakies' success was short-lived, however. The brand introduced Coco Freakies and fruity Freakies, as well as Freakies with marshmallows. But the attempts didn't work, and Freakies vanished in 1977. They had a brief comeback in the 1980s, but ultimately joined other discontinued cereals we miss from the '80s like Apple Raisin Crisp and Dunkin' Donuts Cereal. Freakies was far from the last creepy, ultimately failed cereal, though — does anyone remember "The Addams Family" cereal from the '90s?