Welcome to Short Order, Tasting Table's column for the next generation of adventurous food lovers.
The Grammys are on a Monday this year for the first time ever, proving that not even Taylor Swift and Rihanna can mess with Valentine's Day. Even if you could care less about the actual awards, there's a serious lineup for the live acts. Lady Gaga will pay tribute to David Bowie, Kendrick Lamar will rap approximately 1,700 words per minute and Adele will make you cry.
A show like this is bound to get interesting, so here's our guide to eating and drinking your way through the Grammys.
① Appetizer: Bieber Carbs
Justin Bieber's favorite food is apparently either spaghetti with meatballs or spaghetti Bolognese. Isn't the internet great? He gave us maybe the catchiest song of late 2015, so a bowl of meaty pasta is the least you can do to show respect. But are we really going to trust a guy whose favorite ice cream flavor is cotton candy? Explain your choices, Bieber.
② Main Course: Drank Space
NYC bartender Troy Sidle likens his rosé sangria to Taylor Swift, so fill the drank space in your night with a large glass of that. When it's empty, take a break and try singing karaoke to Hello. If you can't hit the high notes yet, pour another glass and try, try again (your neighbors will love you). Here's another fun game: Make a mug (or five) of boozy hot chocolate. Every time Kendrick Lamar's name is announced as a nominee, take a drink. You'll be sloshed in 20 minutes.
③ Dessert: Pop Hits
We're all about mindless TV eating, but make some sort of popcorn mix to keep your jaws active. Good for a party, great to hoard for yourself. For a sweeter hit, try Crackle, the scarily addictive brainchild of Milk Bar's Christina Tosi. No illegal substances involved though, promise.
④ Postshow Snacks: Sweet, Sweet YouTube
Awards shows are nothing if not fodder for conversation, so take a minute to relive these Grammy performance classics before the internet starts freaking out over anything that happens in this year's show.
Hey, Eminem, 1995 called. It wants its periwinkle sweat suit back. Elton John joined the Detroit rapper 15 years ago for a shockingly poignant collab.
For 50 years, Paul McCartney sat wondering, "Yesterday" is great and all, but what is it missing?" Then, in 2006, it hit him: a little bit of Jay-Z's "uh-huh" background vocals.
Pink's 2010 aerial showcase of "Glitter in the Air" was the first (and only) video we bought on iTunes. Then we learned about YouTube. Life is better now.
And remember when CeeLo Green, Gwyneth Paltrow and the Muppets shared a strange, colorful stage in 2011? We're still confused, too.
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