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The 'Love Actually' Drinking Game Your Heart Deserves

We're not crying; you're crying
Love Actually Drinking Game
Photo: Love Actually via Facebook

All December long, we're bringing you the recipes, tips and tricks you need to Feast your way through the holidays, no matter how you celebrate the season.

If your heart leaps at the sound of "God Only Knows," or if "F*ck wank bugger sh*tting arse head and hole" is your expletive of choice, you might just be a Love Actually superfan. Welcome. You are among friends.

Love Actually is indisputably the loveliest, funniest, most heart-wrenching holiday film ever made, but you already knew that. From Jamie and Aurelia to Mark and Juliet to Billy Mack and his fat manager, the stories of love and friendship are too vast to count. The only thing that could possibly make Richard Curtis's 2003 masterpiece even better? Alcohol, of course.

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Whether you need this film to get through a breakup or simply to get in the holiday spirit, follow the rules below for a truly spectacular night of fun. And don't worry—there's a Hugh Grant out there for each of us.

Take a drink:

 Every time you think "Oh, yeah! [Insert actor/actress] is in this!" (Lookin' at you, January Jones.)

② Every time you hear a snippet of "Christmas Is All Around Us."

③ Whenever Sarah's (aka Laura Linney's) cell phone rings.

④ Whenever a character cries. 

⑤ Whenever a character crying causes you to cry. (Emma Thompson is out to get you, TBH.)

⑥ Every time you hate Mia. (So, every time she's on-screen.)

⑦ Whenever Jamie (otherwise known as god-among-men Colin Firth) tries to speak a foreign language and is terrible at it.

⑧ Every time someone makes a totally unfounded comment about Natalie's weight. (Don't listen to them, Natalie. To me, you are perfect.)

⑨ Whenever the lobster, octopus or whale costume makes an appearance.

⑩ Every time you remember that Alan Rickman passed away and curse 2016.

⑪ Whenever your favorite couple is on-screen. (Yes, you have to choose.)

⑫ That one time Mark protects himself against the December chill by (very emotionally) partially zipping up his quarter-zip sweater to the soothing sounds of Dido.

⑬ Boobs.

Finish your drink:

① When you realize which Love Actually actor is also in Game of Thrones.

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