Is It Rude To Request A Specific Waiter At A Restaurant?

When Tasting Table conducted a survey about the best part of eating at a fancy restaurant, and the three most important factors included the quality of food, the vibe of the restaurant, and the service. Here's another thought experiment: Everyone has their favorite restaurants they go back to repeatedly; they also have their favorite dishes they order again and again. Given that both of these are considered perfectly normal behavior, is it ok to also ask to be served by your favorite waiter? 

Tasting Table asked Nikesha Tannehill Tyson — an etiquette expert from the Swann School of Protocol in Shreveport in Louisiana and author of "Gracious Living" — if it was rude to request a specific waiter at a restaurant. "No, it is not rude," Tannehill Tyson told Tasting Table. If anything, she said it sent a positive signal to the restaurant management. "Requesting a specific server sends the message that you value the level of service or experience provided," she explained. 

The fact that management wants to know about the over-performers on the floor shouldn't come as a surprise. Diners are highly likely to go back to a restaurant where they got good service, even if the food was average — and returning customers are known to spend a lot more than first-timers, too. 

Meanwhile, Nikesha Tannehill Tyson said that there is a correct way to ask for a specific waiter at a restaurant without being rude. According to her, the request needs to be made as soon as you walk into the restaurant. "Request your favorite before you are seated by the host. Servers usually have an assigned section. It could be an inconvenience to ask after you have been seated, and you must be moved to the area of the server you've requested," she said. 

If you're really happy with your waiter, leaving them a healthy tip is just one of the ways to show your appreciation. Responding to a question on Reddit, waiters were unanimous in their opinion that it was perfectly okay let the manager know their servers were doing a stellar job. "I had customers that have done this at every job I've had and it always made my day better. Also, no decent manager is going to be annoyed to hear how excellent their employees are doing," one Redditor wrote.

And finally, if you do find yourself at a table with an exceptional waiter and you request to be served by them when you return, make sure that you're also being an exceptional customer. Anthony Bourdain has some great advice on the do's and don'ts of interacting with waiters. Also, here are 17 questions you should avoid asking, since they're big red flags for servers.