I Was A Bartender For 3 Years. Here's How To Get Treated Like A Regular (Even On Your First Visit)

Whether you're patronizing a swanky cocktail bar, a classic dive, or somewhere in between, there are a few ways to let the bartender know you're the kind of customer worth giving special treatment to. Sure, tipping well and being polite will get you far enough — along with a few other do's and don'ts of ordering at the bar, but getting the type of service that the bartender's favorite regular receives is not that simple, especially on your first visit.

Now, let's be clear that the service a bar regular gets isn't necessarily the best, five-star, ultra-attentive service. In my three years of bartending, the regulars weren't the people I gave my friendliest smile to or whose order I took most promptly. Rather, they were the people I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw them walk in, whose drinks I made a little extra strong, and who got dibs on the jukebox and TVs if they wanted. They're the customers I'd let know about a new whiskey we just got in that I know they'd like, or who I'd share friendly gossip with about the other staff and customers. It's a unique relationship that takes some time to develop, but it's not impossible to get that "regular" treatment on your first visit, and I've got all the tips and tricks to make that happen from someone who's been on the inside.

When I was working behind the bar, there were a few things that customers would do that instantly won me over without fail. A little etiquette while ordering drinks can go a long way. First, a patient customer was always going to be served before an impatient one. If you see a bartender who is swamped, acknowledging how busy they are and letting them know you're fine waiting a bit for service can go a long way. Whenever I was in the weeds, the customer who said, "No rush, I can see that you're busy," was the first person I'd check on once I had a free moment. It's an easy way to avoid sending the wrong message, ahead of placing your order.

The next best way to quickly signal to a bartender that you're a pleasant customer is to tip well. Seems like a no-brainer, but there's actually some nuance to this trick. If you're going to be enjoying more than one round of drinks, start a tab and politely ask how much the first round was, and leave a generous cash tip before you've paid the tab. If you don't have cash, you can close out on the first round and tip on the card instead. Either way, this will signal to your bartender that you'll be taking care of them during your visit, and any bartender worth their salt will take care of you right back. To this point, though, a good tip will never make up for a crappy attitude, so don't think it's a fix-all for you to behave however you want.

Getting treated like one of the regulars requires you to transcend that customer and service worker relationship a bit. The biggest thing that sets a regular apart from the average customer is that they see the bartender as a whole person — maybe even a friend — and not just a worker. To fast-track this relationship a bit, start by making friendly conversation. One of my favorite things to be asked by a customer was if any other customers had been particularly rude or odd during my shift that day. It's a question that creates an instant camaraderie and breaks the mold of bland small talk. Make sure to do a temperature check, though, as some bartenders may not want to chit-chat and will appreciate you picking up on that. The emotional labor that bartenders are expected to perform — especially women bartenders — is nearly as much work, if not more than, the actual tending of the bar, so don't equate an introverted bartender or quiet energy as poor service.

After establishing some sincere conversation, gifting your bartender a little treat or trinket can be a great way to make you stand out and show off your personality a bit. This might not work for every bartender, but it's at the very least going to be a good story for them to tell later, and it's sure to get you remembered if you ever come back to that bar. And, last but not least, being kind to all of the staff at the bar will do wonders when it comes to how your bartender feels about you. Bar and restaurant staff often end up being like family to one another, so make sure your politeness extends to everyone working.