The current monarch of the Seven Kingdoms said it best in season one: When you play the Game of Thrones drinking game, you either win, or you die.
So in honor of this season's finale (and to tide us over until next season, or when George R. R. Martin finally decides to write The Winds of Winter), we're celebrating the only way we know how. Grab your goblet of wine (or horn of honeyed ale), pick up an Arby's turkey leg and get ready to sip your way through the finale.
Take a sip:
① Each time wine is poured or sipped by a character. (Have mercy on us, Cersei.)
② Whenever the Iron Throne is mentioned.
③ Whenever Littlefinger does something creepy that makes you hate him even more.
④ Whenever Bran says something creepy that makes you wonder what the hell happened to him.
⑤ Whenever Ser Davos says something that cements his place as Westeros's ultimate wingman.
⑥ For each human Daenerys's dragons torch into a human marshmallow.
⑦ Anytime you can't decide whose side Jaime is really on.
Take a swig:
① Every time you wish Jon and Dany would just get together.
② When you realize that the above situation would be questionable, since (spoiler!) they might actually be related.
③ When the Hound does something to remind us why he's the best damn character on the show.
④ Anytime Tormund gives Brienne a penetrating glare only a wildling in love could give.
⑤ Anytime Brienne ignores said glare.
⑥ When there's an ungodly amount of traveling that magically occurs over the span of two scenes.
⑧ Every time Lyanna Mormont brings a Twitter-worthy, progressively feminist statement to the small council table.
Finish your drink:
① If a major character dies. (Then proceed to profusely cry afterward and vent on Twitter.)
② If (and when) the Army of the Dead arrive at the Wall.
③ When Jon finally discovers his true parentage.
Finish the entire bottle:
① If that absurd theory of Bran really being the Night King turns out to be true.
Disclaimer: We actually have no clue what Sunday's episode has in store for Westeros, so any of these rules is purely based on speculation and our undying GoT fandom. And as always, drink at a Tyrion level of responsibility.
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