Yes, disappointing as it may be, Christmas is only one day long. But if you play your cards right, you can eat all 12 of these dishes on the big day. We remixed the classic song—choreography is up to you—to help inspire a day's worth of good food. Just remember what your parents taught you: Don't sing with your mouth full.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my kitchen made for me . . .
ELEVEN PIES WITH PIPING
Frozen margarita pie might not scream Christmas, but you know what does? Sprinkles. Besides, margs are never out of season, and no one will say no to another way to sneak booze into a meal.
TEN COCKTAILS LEAPING
Grasshoppers want you to know that lords aren't the only ones who can leap. Go retro with this dessert cocktail, the Andes mint of the liquid world. Plus, since it's green, it'll fit right in with your holiday decos.
NINE HOMERS DANCING
He may not have the elegance (and tutus) of nine prima ballerinas, but Homer Murray dancing while making nachos is the next best thing. The dish itself is also full of glory, in all its cheesy excellence.
EIGHT PORKS MILK-BRAISING
If you've ever accidently curdled your milk while making sauce or custard, this is the dish for you. You're supposed to curdle the milk, which helps achieve pork so tender you barely need teeth to enjoy it.
SEVEN OYSTERS SWIMMING
Swans are too pretty to eat, so spoon out just-warm oysters from Sean Brock's bennecake flour-thickened broth for a taste of Christmas in the South.
FIVE CHICKEN WINGS
Chances are, you're wearing red, so go ahead and wipe your Buffalo sauce-stained fingers on your shirt. These wings are baked, not fried, so there's no oily mess to deal with at the end of the night.
FOUR COCKTAILS STIRRED
Take the smoky comfort from your fireplace and put it straight into your aperitif. Bonus: The orange peel garnish on this mescal Negroni is the perfect use for your Christmas orange.
Sure, we say three, but we dare you to eat any less than five of these airy little cakes. The recipe is from pastry maestro David Lebovitz himself, so you might want to double the batch.
TWO CLASSIC SUBS
No matter how many Christmas cookies you eat for breakfast, lunch is still a necessity. It's a good use for any leftover meat from a Christmas Eve roast, and the bigger the loaf of bread, the more mouths you can satisfy.
. . . AND A BARTLETT PEAR WRAPPED IN A PASTRY
We've had one too many wine-poached pears around the holidays, which is why we can't stay away from pastry chef Jennifer Yee's dessert. Pears get roasted with butter, honey and vanilla, and sandwiched between phyllo for what might just be the best present you open all day.