The Restaurant Etiquette That Signals When You're Done Eating

Ever had an awkward moment at a restaurant when you weren't finished with your meal yet, but the server tried to take it away? Or a situation when you were definitely done eating, but the plate never got cleared from the table? Yup, we've been there too. Thankfully, these occurrences can be avoided by brushing up on key restaurant etiquette.

"When you are finished, the proper etiquette is you take your knife and fork and cross it at the top of the plate," said Michael Cecchi-Azzolina, owner of Cecchi's restaurant, with whom we caught up at the New York City Wine & Food Fest at the Seaport. This is the easiest way to let the restaurant staff know they can come and clear the table. It is, however, a fairly subtle way, so if you're in a rush and need to leave promptly, Cecchi-Azzolina says you should definitely "raise your hand, get someone's attention."

There's no need to stack the empty plates or nervously stare at the servers in the hopes that one of them will catch your glance. The restaurant staff is paying attention to the tables, and when they see your cutlery in the appropriate "I'm done" position, they'll come and take the plate away.

There are different opinions on whether it's considered rude to push a plate away when you're done eating. To gain clarity on the issue, we asked Cecchi-Azzolina. He told us that, while it can sometimes be perceived as rude, "We're not going to judge you." He also acknowledged that in larger groups, different rules apply. It's very common for those in the group who finish early to push the plate aside. "That's fine. That's completely fine," he affirmed. In that particular situation, it can actually be a helpful gesture "because we know you want us to take the plate away. If you do that, we get the signal."

The alternative, he said, would be a busser "going to a table five times, 'Are you finished? Are you finished? Are you finished?'" which is inconvenient for both the diners and the staff. Another situation where pushing the plate away would not be considered a dining etiquette mistake is when you're at the restaurant with one other person. "If there's two people we never clear the table unless everybody is finished," said Cecchi-Azzolina. "So if you want us to take that plate away, set it to the side."