When days of food preparation lead to hours of overindulgent food consumption, it can be tough to nail down the secret (cranberry) sauce that makes Thanksgiving so special. Is it the pounds of turkey? The bottles of wine? The titillating and controversial conversations? This year, we're breaking it down by going back to basics. Understanding and getting through the holiday is as easy as rattling off your ABC’s.
A is for alcohol. You love your family, but a few cocktails makes you love them even more.
B is for butter. Lots of it.
C is for carbs. They are your friend, especially on Thanksgiving.
D is for dad jokes. Bad puns and cringeworthy knock-knock jokes make your Thanksgiving what it should be.
E is for endurance. Endurance to cook all day and get hot food out on time, endurance to eat more than you ever thought possible, and endurance to sit through your uncle’s rants about the election.
F is for football. That's a thing people watch on Thanksgiving, right? Bear with us; we’re just here for the food.
G is for gravy. It’s the one day a year when we want our plate to be swimming in it.
H is for home. D'awww.
I is for inappropriate questions about your love life. Courtesy of Aunt Martha.
J is for just do it. It applies to Nike, and it applies to eating.
K is for the kids’ table. We've all been there, and when talk of politics at the adults’ table rolls around, we really miss it.
L is for laundry. Because if you’re still in college, you'll be toting a large sack home for the holiday and begging for Mom's assistance.
M is for maternity pants. No, you’re not expecting, but they sure come in handy after filling up your plate for the third or fourth time.
N is for Netflix. The Gilmore Girls revival starts streaming the day after Thanksgiving, so get ready.
O is for only child. You’ll kind of wish you were one when your older sister won't stop talking about how much money she makes.
P is for pumpkins. Don't worry, after Thanksgiving, pumpkin spice will become a distant memory . . . until it rears its ugly head again next September.
Q is for questioning life decisions. This comes after countless queries into what it is you actually do for a living.
R is for random significant others. They always show up on the arms of your cousins, trying to sneak their way into the family's good graces. (They have a long way to go.)
S is for stuffing. Because stuffing is the best part of Thanksgiving, and we will fight you on that.
T is for turkey. Duh.
U is for unbuttoning your pants at the end of the meal. Get into it.
V is for VIPs. These are the very important people in your life who you're lucky enough to have surrounding you.
W is for wine. Need we say more?
X is for xylophone sonata. Which your 8-year-old cousin will insist on playing for you, because she's just discovered musical instruments.
Y is for yams. Unless you just call them sweet potatoes like a normal person.
Z is for Zumba. Your mom will try to convince you to do this with her the morning after the big feast.
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