All December long, we're bringing you the recipes, tips and tricks you need to Feast your way through the holidays, no matter how you celebrate the season.
I'm kind of a grinch, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
I can relate to our green friend's bah humbug attitude: He was justified in his disgust over the consumerism, the commercialism and the all-consuming pressure that comes with the holiday season. Everyone is so busy trying to get the perfect iPhone/boots/stroller for everyone on their lists that they don't have time to enjoy the holiday cheer.
This year, skip the stress and commit to spending nothing on your friends and family. That's right: Get the perfect FREE gift for all of your loved ones with our foolproof guide.
We're feeling festive just thinking about it.
For the ex who needs "space": Grab a mason jar from your kitchen cabinet and trap some good, quality air inside. Leave it in an unmarked box on his doorstep. Just what he wanted.
For the wealthy sibling who always thought he was better than you: Rip some notebook paper into tiny pieces. When your sibling walks into your next family gathering, throw the scraps of paper into the air like confetti, congratulating him on his superiority.
For the roommate who's late-night escapades constantly keep you up: Do her a favor and staple old blankets, stuffed animals and rugs to her walls. She'll love the free sound insulation, and it's a win-win for you!
For the high school "friend" who always tries to make plans with you but then cancels at the last minute: Give your friend (and yourself) a gift and just delete her number. You'll thank your cancel-free self next year.
For your niece completing her senior year of high school and college applications: Give the gift of low expectations.
For the cousin who's just given birth: Kleenex for the tears and cotton balls for the ears, I always say.
For your significant other whose favorite phrase is "I don't care; whatever you want": Decide what you're going to eat for dinner every night for the next year. Sweet bliss.
For the coworker you picked for the white elephant swap: Literally anything in your home will do. An empty picture frame, that vase you hate, or the sweater your mom bought you from Banana Republic.
For your tech-illiterate grandmother: Replace her unused iPhone with a walkie-talkie and tape a picture of your family to the front of it. She'll never know the difference, and you won't have to explain how to work the camera anymore.
For the Facebook friend who "feels good about 2016," because she "didn't get involved in all the drama this year": Using construction paper and Magic Markers, fashion her a shiny, new medal. She deserves it.
For the cool aunt with three young daughters: The next time you're in their home, steal all copies of Frozen. Mama will never have to hear "Let It Go" again.
And if you're really strapped for cash, just tell all your friends and family you love them. That's what Christmas is all about, right?
Please check your inbox to verify your email address.