You Can Channel Tom Brady with This Meal Kit, If You Dare

Be prepared for lots of limitations

For those who have dreamed of eating like Tom Brady—no dairy, no meat, no fish, no gluten, no olive oil, no strawberries and virtually no sugar (is that still eating?)—there's a new meal kit out there. Brady is teaming up with Purple Carrot, which for a cool $13 a plate, lets home cooks eat the "same delicious meals Brady will be eating," the website says. (A Bon Appétit staffer tried this once for 17 hours and "lived to tell the tale.")

The meals in the box include white lentil risotto (riso means "rice," Tom; you can't really get rid of it and still call it risotto) with roast vegetables and cashew gremolata, ramen with charred broccolini and gingered amaranth greens, and crispy turnip cakes with quinoa tabbouleh and (vegan) za'atar yogurt.

The "meals" will start shipping in April, so for those who simply can't wait to not eat, you can place your orders now.