17 Pizza Ordering Hacks You Need To Start Using

Have you ever wanted to order pizza with a friend but couldn't agree on the toppings, so you just ordered two small pies? Sure, it cuts down on the arguments, but you should know that you're losing money (or, ahem, dough). According to the "pizza equation", using math to calculate the surface area of your pie vs. cost, the largest size is almost always the best deal. 

 Here are the hard facts — using a pretty simple equation to find the area of a pizza, it turns out that one large pizza can often equal eight small pizzas in size alone (this obviously depends on your pizzeria's definition of small and large pizza). However, this only applies to the cheesy, interior goodness; crust lovers will always get more when it comes to smalls, so they should always double down, no matter how much more expensive they are. 

The problem with ordering pizza from home is that, while you're at home in your comfortable pants, the actual food has to go on a bit of a journey to reach you. If you've ever had the chance to experience a blistered and perfectly charred pizza, you'll know how delicious a crispy crust can be. On the other hand, a pizza that's been steaming away in a cardboard box for 20 minutes can quickly become, well ... soggy and limp. 

When ordering, find the box that asks for additional comments and just request it well done. Or, if you're really serious about this pizza endeavor, you can actually request your pizza uncooked and blast it in your preheated oven as soon as it arrives. 

Another customization you can try is to ask for your delivery pizza to arrive uncut. More work for you — how is this a useful hack? But hear us out before giving this a thumbs-down. First, an uncut crust travels better than a dozen slices. A solid base helps the toppings settle, along with all that melty cheese, without seeping into the newly formed crust cracks. You'll end up with a crispier crust, for starters. Don't worry if you're missing a rolling pizza cutter, either. If you order your pizza uncut, kitchen shears work incredibly well. 

And here's a little more science for you pizza lovers — an uncut pie will retain more heat on the drive home. Not only that, you can decide on the size of your slices once it's time to eat. Have kids? You can cut up a few smaller slices for those tiny eaters while serving yourself a little extra. 

If you're doing a lot of ordering from home and from the same resto, over and over, it might be time to look into finally downloading their app. Most major chains, and even some smaller shops, have apps that can help you earn points every time you order. Whatever the deal is, you'd be crazy to not take advantage of the free stuff offered by the chain you rely on weekly. 

However, we'd like to make sure that you're not getting swept up in the romance of free crazy crust or extra dips. There are a whole lot of ways that pizza chains can scam you, from making breadsticks out of pizza scraps to faking that falsifying their pizza tracker. Seriously — no one is updating the system as your pizza comes out of the oven, no matter how amazing that would be.

Sometimes the party gets ahead of you and, all of a sudden, you need food. Like, right now. But if you get a chance to plan ahead, we'd advise you to do just that. If you're planning a party that requires more than two or three large pies, call ahead to make sure that your party won't go hungry.  Calling ahead makes sure that the kitchen is ready for your order and can dedicate the time (and ingredients) to your order. 

Want a few more helpful tips? First, it's always a great idea to have those pies cut into smaller slices. By requesting more slices, your guests can try a few different pizzas without feeling overstuffed, and, at the same time, the pizzas will go farther.  Aside from ordering all those skinny slices, you'll need to take your guest's allergies, intolerances, or dislikes into mind. Ordering loads of pies full of anchovies, super hot peppers, and extra blue cheese might not make the cut.

Look, we understand the best reason for eating take-out pizza at home — no social interaction. Order it on your phone and wait for it to show up on your doorstep. But if you need the freshest, meltiest pie possible, then you'll want to take a walk and bring that sweet, cheesy masterpiece home yourself. 

Not only can you guarantee that your pizza is being delivered to the correct address, but by picking it up yourself, you're saving that pie a few precious minutes on the journey. If you've recently ordered delivery pizza, you may have noticed that it took longer than usual — if so, you're not alone. Fast food delivery has been impacted by staffing shortages, specifically delivery drivers, which has slowed down how quickly your food gets to you. 

Here's another tip for those of you driving your pizza home. If you have seat warmers in your car, this is time to crank them up and keep those pies warm. This is especially good advice if you've forgotten to preheat that oven or if you have a lot of hungry maws waiting at home. By making use of automotive technology, you can keep those pies warm enough to keep the masses happy and fed without having to sacrifice melty cheese or crispy crust. 

If you don't have seat warmers (don't worry, not all of us are willing to pay for heated seats), you can just as easily place those cardboard babies on the passenger side floor and turn on the heat from the floor vents. Whatever way you choose, adding a blanket on top never hurts, either. 

Some toppings, like fresh greens, just don't travel well. Or sometimes you might just want to save money when you already have something on hand and you're building a custom pie. If you've got the oven on already, consider adding an extra handful of cheese or whatever tickles you. 

One particular topping that we can't help but suggest — but you might be surprised by — is a fried egg. Fried eggs as a pizza topping isn't a truly novel concept but they still haven't really caught on in North America. Luckily, it's easy enough to do — while that pie is reheating in the oven, crack one open and fry it up. Just before serving the pizza, slide in on top for some extra deliciousness.

Finally, what if you've followed all the steps above but when you open the box your pizza is just ... not right? Wrong toppings, burnt beyond recognition, or finding a stray hair are all things you might consider complaining about. If you've ever worked in food service, then you'll know that there is definitely a right way to complain about your order. 

Remember that old adage about the customer always being right? It's not as black and white as it might seem, so make sure that what you're complaining about is actually a problem. Check your receipt to verify that you didn't accidentally order anchovies before dialing up the restaurant to complain. And once you do make that call, remember that kindness will get you much farther than shouting. It's important to a business to make their customers happy, so you might even score a sweet deal on your next order.