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Ice Cream For Breakfast, For Science

We put this too-good-to-be-true theory to the test

Why bother with overnight oats when according to a recent study, you should be eating ice cream for breakfast?

The study, done by Japanese scientist Yoshihiko Koga, says eating "ice-cold food" for breakfast boosts mental performance and increases alertness. Though it seems like a cold shower could probably get the job done, I've seen too many balanced-breakfast commercials to believe eating two scoops of mint chocolate chip before heading out the door is the answer.

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But milk, one of ice cream's main ingredients, has long been considered (and debated to be) the perfect food—there's even a book chronicling its status as such. And isn't ice cream just a sugar-laden smoothie melted down? There's even been a national holiday for ice cream since the 1960s, long before science made its way into the conversation.

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If you've been rolling your eyes for the past five minutes, I don't blame you. Neither would Business Insider, which points out why this isn't such a great idea. The study is definitely incomplete, probably biased (it was run by a dessert company) and untrackable online.

Despite all this, I have decided to spend a workweek flipping off every mealtime convention thrown at me for the last quarter century. If it makes me "smarter," great. And if my health teeters for a mere five days, that's a demerit I'll happily take. I'm not naive enough to think it could drastically improve my intelligence, but this is one experiment I'm willing to try.

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Day 1: I've always wondered why Morgenstern's opens so early. Granted, it has a full coffee bar, but who's actually getting ice cream at 8 a.m.? In this case, I am, but despite an otherwise-empty shop, the counter person is unphased—almost disappointingly so. I walk to work enjoying my sunflower seed ice cream and receive few incredulous looks. This reminds me how thankful I am to live in New York City.


Day 2:
I'm running late, so I rely on whatever we have stashed in the office freezer, which happens to be Ben & Jerry's newest nondairy flavors. I hesitate for a moment over whether this still counts as ice cream, but since the study's (only) parameter seems to mean any "ice-cold food," I happily launch into a three-for-one morning.


Day 3:
The Milk Bar near my apartment opens at 9 a.m., so at the risk of seeming like a tourist, I aim to be the first customer. I'm welcomed with an encouraging smile, zero judgment and a cup of Crack Pie soft-serve. I go on to have ice cream for lunch as well, which either messes with my "experiment" or turns me into Albert Einstein.


Day 4:
I take advantage of living in Little Italy and start my day with pistachio gelato. Again, not technically ice cream, but I wasn't exactly approaching this week with a lab coat on.

Day 5: The week ends with a bang—and 40 cakes in the office, which I top with Ice & Vice's Opium Den. It's a lemon-hinted sesame and poppy seed flavor, so I basically eat a bagel.

The results: Am I any smarter? Probably not. I took various "intelligence tests" online—one of which was called Am I Dumb?—and they were just as surprisingly hard after the experiment as before. But whether it was the sugary jolt or the sheer adrenaline of dessert for breakfast, I felt great every morning. I'd say don't try this at home . . . but I'd be lying. Live a little.

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