Recap: Episode 2 Of 'Martha And Snoop'

The recap series you never asked for, but we're giving it to you anyway

Hi, folks, and welcome to this week's recap of the masterpiece that is VH1's Martha and Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party: your weekly source of countless pot jokes, a few cooking tips and inappropriate innuendo regarding Martha Stewart's sexuality.

This week in an episode entitled "Keep Your Claws Off Me, " Martha and Snoop are joined by model Ashley Graham and rapper Rick Ross to tackle lobster two ways. According to the episode's description, "Things get steamy when Rick Ross wants to heat it up with Martha in more ways than one." So let's get into it. Here's why you can't miss this week's episode.

① Snoop describes lobster, saying, "When you eat it, you know you've made it to the big time. The big red roach." He continues, "Lobster is a food only rich people can eat. You do a lot of work for just a little piece of meat."

② Each episode begins with "a mind-altering substance," aka a cocktail recipe. This week, Martha whips up the perfect martini in an oversize cocktail shaker and adds one full bottle of vodka to the mix. Snoop's reaction: "I love it when she does this."

③ Rick arrives and presents Martha with a blinged-out cheese grater to wear around her neck, then tells her he's a "100-room mansion" that he needs her in. When she asks what the 100 rooms are for, he says, "We can be creative." Then he gives her a back massage. Twice.

④ Martha sets out to make her classic New England clambake in a pot, while Snoop cooks up his special lobster thermidor, or Snoop's Boiled and Broiled Skrilla Godzilla.

⑤ Rick fearlessly reaches into a lobster tank with his bare hands and effortlessly grabs a live lobster. Snoop dons chain mail gloves and struggles with the catching process for about two minutes.

We have to say, though, when the four sit down at the table for dinner together, it really is quite touching. (Wait . . . is it? We're confused as to what we're even still doing here.)