The Costco Dessert You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
The popular wholesale grocer known as Costco is the go-to place to find just about anything — and at a good price. Whether you need a new set of tires, an air fryer, or a re-filling of your paper towel stash, you can find it there. As for perishable items, Costco's bakery section is full of dessert items that are sure to fulfill any — and all — of your sweet cravings. From cake and pie to brownies and cookies, you can find it at Costco, and probably larger than you expected, like most things on its shelves. Not to mention, some of its baked goods are viral on the internet.
With so many options to choose from, it can be hard to know where to start, and your picks can say a lot about you. That's where your zodiac sign comes in. Costco has a dessert that's perfectly suited for every sign on the astrological calendar, including yours.
Aries
As the first sign of the zodiac and the first fire sign, it probably comes as no surprise that Aries are known for being both competitive and hot-headed. Their common attributes are passion, confidence, and motivation. Like the rams that represent them, once they set their mind to something, they have a relentless determination that results in them jumping into things head first. As you can expect, this can lead to some hard-learned lessons — but, considering Aries love being number one and that they refuse to settle for anything less, they tend to come out on top more often than not. According to our ranking of Costco's bakery treats, so does this sign's dessert: the cherry and cheese pastry.
Costco's bakery section has a multitude of danishes to choose from. There's the almond, the cream cheese, and the apple — but everybody knows that the cherry and cheese flavor is the best. The pastry itself is plush and flaky, just as it should be, while the filling gives you that perfect amount of cherry and cheese. The sweet and tart cherry jam tastes like actual cherries, and it's perfectly balanced by the creaminess of the cheese. The cherry on top, however, is the extra bit of glaze that's drizzled over the top of the pastry, solidifying it as our all-time favorite Costco pastry.
Taurus
Represented by the bull, it's no wonder why Tauruses are said to be notoriously stubborn — there's no moving them, no matter how hard you might push or pull them in one direction if they're not feeling it. While these signs might work hard, just like their spirit animals, they'd rather be relaxing most of the time. In fact, these signs are such stable, levelheaded friends because they prioritize their me-time. No sign indulges in self-care quite to the level that Tauruses do, which is why their Costco dessert is as decadent and luscious as these signs are during their evening baths. If Tauruses were any Costco dessert, it'd be the butter pound cake.
Very few desserts rival the butter pound cake when it comes to indulgence. Just like their names suggest, these cakes are rich, heavy, and luxurious. Similar to Tauruses' laid-back and chill personalities, which allow them to get along with just about everyone, Costco's butter pound cake is simple and versatile, going with just about anything. Whether that's even more butter, fresh strawberries, whipped cream, or vanilla ice cream, a classic pound cake like Costco's does it all, and it's almost impossible to deny — even for a Taurus.
Gemini
There's a bit of a rumor that's been going around about Geminis. The running verdict seems to be that they're two-faced, but the truth is they're just incredibly social and curious, and their long list of social events, hobbies, and side hustles means that they'd need to be in two places at once to get everything they want done. Hence, the need for a twin — the celestial twins symbolize them after all. On that note, Geminis' Costco dessert is made up of two powerful ingredients: peanut butter and chocolate. That's right, they'd be the famous peanut butter chocolate cream pie.
While Geminis might not have the greatest of reputations, they can at least say that their Costco dessert does. The peanut butter chocolate cream pie from Costco is an undisputed fan-favorite, and for good reason. The graham cracker crust, creamy peanut butter filling, and chocolate mousse topping make it worth stocking up on, and you probably should. Like the social-hopping Gemini, these pies are so popular they can be hard to catch. So, if you do happen to come by one, get two, or maybe even four, and throw them in the freezer. Then, when you're ready to dig into one, you can leave it out to thaw or eat it just as it is — some people actually prefer it that way.
Cancer
While Cancers may come off as cold and distant at first, they're really big softies. Like the crabs that represent them, Cancers have hard shells — it may take a while before someone gets to know their gentle selves. Cancers are incredibly sensitive beings, and their empathetic nature means that their moods are easily influenced by their environments. That's why they often prefer to stay in the comfort of their own homes. In fact, these signs are all about comfort, and especially comfort food. Their characteristics all point to one Costco dessert: the mini chocolate chip cookies.
Chocolate chip cookies are especially famous for being a comfort food. A lot of it can be attributed to childhood memories. However, the chocolate in them is also known to possibly trigger the production of happy chemicals in your brain, according to Sather Health. Costco's miniature style not only tastes suspiciously better than Costco's regular-sized chocolate chip cookies, but their small size makes them extra cute. Tiny things that we find cute are also said to induce the release of dopamine in your brain, making you feel happy, according to Real Simple. Because they're so small, it might not hurt for Cancers to carry them around in their pocket. Although, they'll taste much better at home heated up in your toaster oven.
Leo
Born between July and August, Leos are known for their bright, summery personalities. Combined with Leos' love for the spotlight — and that they sometimes think the world revolves around them — they're aptly represented by the sun. It's also why they'd be a Costco dessert that's as radiant and as zesty as they are. Considering that, the type of dessert this sign would be is none other than Costco's mini lemon cakes.
Costco's mini lemon cakes are much more fun than a regular-sized cake. Despite the miniature size, these six cupcakes pack a big, bold flavor that matches the Leos' huge, daring personalities. Each cupcake has a light lemon flavor with a touch of vanilla and topped with creamy, lemon-flavored icing. In the middle, you'll be happily surprised to find a dollop of zingy lemon curd. But the sprinkle of streusel on top is what takes these cakes to the next level.
Virgo
If you need something done, ask a Virgo. They are infamous for their productivity, which comes from their love for order and workable solutions. Be it checking something off of their to-do list, sending out the Google calendar invite, or putting together a PowerPoint presentation, Virgos take great joy in completing the minuscule tasks that contribute to something much bigger. That's why the Costco dessert that they'd be is made in layers — ones you can see and taste. As you've probably guessed, this sign's dessert is none other than the Costco tuxedo cake.
Like a Virgo, the tuxedo cake from Costco rarely disappoints. On the contrary, it's actually quite impressive as far as grocery store cakes go. The cake is layered, first and foremost, with a solid foundation made of decadently moist chocolate cake. On top of that comes a layer of chocolate mousse, brownie chunks, then a layer of white chocolate mousse, more chocolate cake, and a hefty layer of chocolate ganache with some nice textural topping of cocoa nibs and chocolate swirls for decoration. When it all comes together, everyone will want to get their hands on it — giving Virgos one more grocery item they can satisfactorily cross off their to-do list.
Libra
The scale represents Libras because they are obsessed with balance, but it's not just something they look for in their surroundings. Libras crave balance in every aspect of their lives, from their relationships and health to their hobbies and careers. Known as the aesthetes of the zodiac, Libras make very talented decorators, designers, stylists, and art critics — and it's all because of their eye for symmetry and stunning objects. Not only do they have an eye for balance — they also have a taste for it. That's why this sign's Costco dessert has to smell and taste just as good as it looks, making theirs the classic apple pie.
You can't really ever go wrong with an apple pie — and Costco's is no exception. While most grocery store pies come out too sugary and all too often gooey and messy, Costco's is surprisingly good. The double crust is filled with abundant pieces of fresh apples bespeckled with cinnamon. Unlike most store-bought apple pies, the apples in Costco's are coated with a syrup that's not overly sweet and brings the apple flavor forward rather than the sugar. What's even more impressive, however, is the crust. Despite the pie's sheer size, Costco managed to achieve a flaky and firm crust on the outside while being soft in the middle.
Scorpio
Scorpios have a bit of a reputation, and like the Gemini, they're notoriously misunderstood. These signs are incredibly passionate, and their moods can swing from one end of the spectrum to the next. This sign's sheer intensity is the reason why many mistake them as fire signs, but to much surprise, Scorpios are water signs. Clairvoyant and intuitive, these signs hold true to their water nature, but what they're known for is their sharp sting. Like their spirit animals, Scorpios prefer the dark and attack when least expected, making them so elusive and exciting, and that's precisely why their Coscto dessert is as deep and dark as they are. If you couldn't guess, if the Scorpio were a Costco dessert, they'd be the chocolatiest of all: the fudge brownies.
The grocery giant made headlines in 2021 for its nearly 4-pound brownies that could feed entire parties. These massive, decadent, fudgy brownies are made extra chocolaty by the fudge icing, chocolate drizzle, and fudgy chocolate crumble topping. Like the Scorpio, however, a brownie of this size can be a bit much for some people. That's why they also come in mini, bite-size pieces. Despite their small size, the mini fudge brownies are just as fudgy and rich.
Sagittarius
Born in late November through late December, Sagittariuses' birthdays are often overshadowed by the holidays, but they don't let that get them down. These signs have an inert optimism, and they can find the silver lining in just about anything. So, rather than turning into the Grinch and declaring a dislike for Christmas, Sagittariuses bask in the happy-go-lucky spirit that marks the season. Uncoincidentally, so does their Costco dessert.
If these signs were any dessert from Costco, they'd be one that only comes around once a year: the peppermint bark. Every December, Costco stocks up on this classic holiday sweet — and people from far and wide come to get their fix. Made with Belgian chocolate and crushed peppermint, Costco's peppermint bark is sweet, rich, and minty, making it perfect for holiday snacking and hosting. That is — if you can get your hands on it. Costco's peppermint bark is a seasonal favorite, so if you see it, make sure you grab it.
Capricorn
If Capricorns are known for anything, it's for being workaholics. These signs are incredibly driven and determined. While they can have a good time, these signs hardly give themselves the time of day for it. But what most people don't know about these Earth signs is that they have a magical ability — they can age backward. The more they mature — and the more achievements they gain — the more they're able to let go and enjoy life, bringing out their youthfulness, optimism, and playfulness. These signs are real party people, which is why the Costco dessert they'd be is both a celebration of age and a party staple: a birthday cake — but the white cake with vanilla cheesecake mousse, to be specific.
The white cake is light and fluffy, and it's perfectly complemented by a center layer of creamy cheesecake mousse. With just the right amount of sweetness, they're a guaranteed crowd-pleaser — and just like the Capricorn, they'll be the life of the party. While some may prefer a homemade cake, these signs hardly have the time to attend a party, let alone bake a cake. Fortunately for Capricorns, these babies are found pre-made and ready to go, and you can even ask the bakery staff to add a message on the top.
Aquarius
Ingenious, open-minded, defiant, and humanitarian, Aquariuses are unique. As the zodiac's humanitarians, Aquariuses value their independence and tend to side with the most untraditional and unconventional opinions. They befriend those who might be outsiders rather than falling into the norm of a particular group. Aquariuses are attracted to people who live by their own rules because they're the same. For instance, we wouldn't put it past them to challenge the common concept of saving sweets for after dinner. The Costco dessert they'd be is one that's completely acceptable to have for breakfast despite what your parents may have taught you growing up: the cinnamon pull-apart bread.
The cinnamon pull-apart bread is one of the most popular items you can get at the Costco bakery. However, in Aquarian style, these desserts are special. Costco's cinnamon pull-apart bread is a hybrid of cinnamon rolls and monkey bread, and it could easily pass for a cake — until it's time to eat, and no knives or forks are necessary. The tender, brown sugar, cinnamon, brioche-dough rolls beg for your hands to pull them apart, and they're twice as good when heated up.
Pisces
As the last zodiac sign, Pisces inherited all of the life wisdom and acquired lessons of the signs that come before it. In turn, this makes them incredibly intuitive, mystical, and imaginative people. Pisces have entire worlds within their heads. In fact, the two fish that represent them are swimming in opposite ways to symbolize this sign's constant struggle between fantasy and reality. However, creative pursuits can best bring this sign back to earth. The Pisces' imagination knows no bounds, and these signs thrive when they're able to bring their creative visions to life. Their Costco dessert, uncoincidentally, provides them the perfect blank canvas to do just that.
If the Pisces were any Costco dessert, they'd be the plain cheesecake. Unlike other cheesecakes, which are typically dense and rich, Costco's plain cheesecake is light and fluffy yet still creamy. Furthermore, with four distinguishable layers, these cheesecakes are much more than meets the eye. On the top is a thin coat with creamy and light profiles that perfectly complements the more tangy and rich cheesecake layer underneath. On the edge of the surface are swirls of sugary icing, which brings some added sweetness to the not-so-sweet cheesecake. Then, on the bottom is a perfectly crumbly cookie dough crust that adds another dimension of texture. Its plain feature allows room for any additions or toppings, whether that be fresh berries or mini Reese's cups.