12 Things To Keep In Mind When Tipping At Restaurants

Tipping is a controversial concept in the restaurant industry. When tipping made its way to North America in the 19th century, it did so as a replacement scheme for wages, perpetuated largely by post-Civil War white business owners who did not want to pay their Black workers, as explained in The New York Times. They transformed the tipping practice of European aristocrats — who paid tips in addition to a basic wage, however minuscule that might have been back in the day — into the only payment option available, effectively getting away with not paying their workers at all. Restaurant owners soon caught on, and the practice has endured to this day, where many restaurant servers still don't get paid minimum wage.

Although tipping in America continues to be widely seen as a way to incentivize a server to provide better service, or to show appreciation for exceptional work, the practice continues to have its detractors. Many restaurants have removed the option altogether, choosing instead to pay their servers a living wage, passing on the cost to the consumer through the bill. As such, it's important to know the tipping policy at the restaurant you chose for the evening, so you can act accordingly. Here's some help with navigating this whole affair, based on my personal experience as a server and tipper, and through extra research done.

When dining out at a full-service restaurant, where your server comes to your table and brings you your order,  it's important to remember that the person you interact with the most may be getting paid as little as $2.13 per hour, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, so if you could round up your bill before calculating the tip percentage, you'd be doing someone a solid — not out of the goodness of your heart, but because they're likely working hard and they deserve it. So for example, if your bill comes to $25, and it's easier to calculate 20% based on a round number like 20 or 30, make that $30 and go from there.

This practice is especially important when you're splitting the bill with someone. If that bill of $25 total becomes $10 and $10, instead of $15 and $15 when you're calculating your percentage, you're going to massively affect the amount of the tip. This is especially true if instead of $25 you actually spent $250 between the two of you. The higher the bill, the more work someone puts into making your experience worthwhile, even if most of it occurred behind the scenes. This work should be rewarded and reflected in the tip.

Given the current controversy over tipping practices in restaurants, you might find that when you get your bill at a restaurant, the tip is already included. In these cases, by all means, you can refrain from including a tip — technically, you will do so simply by paying your bill, and it will likely be a decent one. And, as always, you can feel free to include an additional tip on top of that, as you see fit.

It helps to know what's going on, though. First of all, do pay attention to your bill — less scrupulous servers might not alert you to the fact that a tip is already included. But mostly, consider the pros and cons of this line item on your bill before you complain. Although many restaurants have had to rescind their no-tipping policy after patrons complained that they wanted to be in control of their tipping amounts, the practice helps equalize pay for demographics who might receive more or less money depending on their race, gender, or other factors rather than their performance on the job. But note that this is usually not the same thing as a service fee, which is a catch-all term to describe money that goes to the restaurant to cover credit card fees, health care for employees, or other charges that have nothing to do with your server.

The United States may be one of the only countries in the world that pays their servers next to nothing. Many are aware of the low salaries meted out in the business, and pay tips accordingly. But the situation in other countries is very different. In most places, as is only fair, servers are paid by their employers, and not according to the mercy of generous, or dutiful, strangers.

For instance, tips are expected in Mexico, especially from Americans, as the practice in the United States is well-known in surrounding countries. But the 15% to 20% rule goes out the window here in favor of a standard of 10% of the bill — which is definitely easier on the wallet. You may find this to be true in many other countries, as well, including all across Europe. In many cases, tipping there isn't even expected at all, and many locals don't bother with it. They rightly assume that their servers are already being paid for their work. Just know that this rule may differ slightly for touristy areas — Americans abroad have been tipping for years, and restaurants in highly trafficked areas know this and may expect a continuation of this behavior.

Large groups of diners tend to eat and drink merrily, sometimes forgetting themselves — and their manners. This may be one reason why many restaurants automatically apply a gratuity fee of 18% or higher on parties of six people or more. It forces the group to make good on their bill, and their tip, regardless of whether anyone is trying to shirk their financial responsibilities. This move is designed to protect the server who fulfilled their role.

But if you're in that group of potential tip shirkers, you may have to be on the alert. We've all heard stories of that one friend who just paid for their dish, at the price listed on the menu, without considering tax or tip, hoping that his parsimoniousness would get lost in the fray at settling time. Or the one who paid even less than they owed for their meal because they knew no one was paying attention. Well, for the sake of your server, it's time to pay attention. Calling out a friend in a jokey way might do the trick, and if not, giving a slightly bigger tip on your end should set the record straight.

For years, servers across the country have preferred receiving tips in cash. A cash tip meant not having to declare it on a tax form, thereby lowering a person's tax bill at the end of the year. Although a questionable practice as far as the IRS is concerned, this helped many people in the precarious restaurant business get by.

Then came the COVID-19 pandemic. Requests for unemployment payments skyrocketed, and former servers were finding themselves having to accept such payments based on previously declared income, which was lower than what they actually got when accounting for cash tips. But when a server is tipped by a credit card, the amount automatically counts as part of that server's income, which may raise taxes in the short term, but can help if that person ever needs to rely on unemployment benefits, which only reflect the official salary. Having a paper trail for tips, therefore, can help a person with all the perks that come with a higher salary — in addition to unemployment, they may be able to get credit cards approved more easily, not to mention mortgages if they want to buy a house.

The core idea of a tip is that it should be a reward for a job well done. The amount should reflect a patron's level of satisfaction with a particular server, varying slightly according to how happy one is. But what happens when a server is just plain bad? And that is not referring to factors the server can't control — such as staffing levels at the restaurant or quality of the food. This means a server's attitude or overall ability to get the job done.

In cases of truly bad service, many have contemplated the idea of not tipping at all. Why pay someone when they didn't provide what they were there to fulfill? Indeed, a recent survey found that one of the main reasons people don't tip at restaurants is because they are dissatisfied with their server due to rude behavior or unsanitary practices. If that happens to you, we wouldn't judge if you decided to not leave a tip. If someone goes out of their way to be impolite or unsanitary, it's not going to be good for anyone. But if the reason was just a wrong order or slow service, it might be worth tipping anyway. You never know what the cause of the slow service might be, while a wrong order could happen to anyone, especially on a busy night.