The Type Of Pizza You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Pizza is about a divisive topic as the zodiacs are — and the title for the best will likely continue to be debated for generations to come. From the iconic New York slice to Chicago's deep dish pies, the type of pizza you choose is as telling as the toppings you add to it. Apart from the city you grew up in, your cultural background, and accessibility, your zodiac can influence what you think the best type is. It can also be used to determine which one your sign would be if you were a pizza.
From the style of crust to the toppings and all the way to what you think is the correct way to eat a slice of it — there's a pizza out there tailored to the personalities of every zodiac sign. There's the controversial Hawaiian, with its heavily debated inclusion of pineapple as a topping, the unique — but universally celebrated — Thai-inspired slices that are home to Orange County, California, the O.G. classic Neapolitan crusts, and the untraditional Detroit styles that may or may not be dipped into a side of ranch. Keep reading to find out which one you might be.
Aries
The Aries loves to be number one, and not just on the astrological calendar. Being fire signs, these signs are infamous for being hotheaded and competitive. So, to give them satisfaction — and avoid any angry Aries in my inbox — it's only right that these signs be the most popular type of pizza in the U.S.: pepperoni. They'd specifically be a pepperoni pizza on a thin crust because — you guessed it — it's also the most popular type of pizza crust in the U.S. So, all around, the Aries can feel validated knowing that, if they were a pizza, they'd be what most people consider the best. Congratulations.
Unfortunately, there's no award to be handed out or ceremony to be held in the Aries's honor. If there were, however, I'd explain that — coincidentally — the pepperoni pizza is actually pretty fitting for these signs, and not only because it's the most popular. The reason pepperoni is such a unanimously loved pizza topping is because it's savory, with a texture a tad softer than salami. Not only do they meld perfectly with the pizza's cheese, sauce, and crust, but they also provide the perfect amount of spice. Notorious for their temperaments, Aries may provide a bit more spice than pepperoni does. But a bit of hot honey will bring it right up to par.
Taurus
Tauruses are known for a lot of things, and being flexible is not one of them. In fact, if there's one thing these signs value the most — whether it be in friendships, careers, or their own schedules — it's stability and reliability. This means that, in the world of pizza, there could only be one type for this sign — and that's the classic New York slice. But, not just any New York slice. Sure, they could stop by any of the dollar slice shops or stands operating on every other block of the city, and while that would fulfill the Tauruses' need for reliability; if that crust doesn't hold up the weight of the cheese, their trust would only break along with it.
A pizza spill is enough to ruin anyone's day but for these signs, but these signs are the type to take it much more personally — even if they don't show it on their faces or in their demeanors. Tauruses need one go-to spot they can go to, one that they can trust. When it comes to the New York Style, there's no place quite as trustworthy as Lombardis, the one that started it all. Open since 1905, Lombardi's is said to be the first pizzeria in the United States. But, more importantly, it's been credited for developing the famous pizza style that's become synonymous with the city. Considering it made Tasting Table's list of the best pizza in NYC, it won't disappoint.
Gemini
Geminis are a controversial topic both within the zodiac community and out. Within, these signs are often accused of being two-faced. Many — mostly those who haven't taken the time to actually learn anything about them — have written them off, considering them guilty by association. While I do believe the judgments are unfair, there's no denying these signs are walking, talking controversies. So, what's the controversial equivalent to Geminis in the world of pizza and pizza lovers? That's easy — it's pineapples on pizza.
This means that if the Gemini were any type of pizza on the planet, they'd be the Hawaiian. Made with red sauce and cheese, and topped with ham and pineapples, Hawaiian pizza is one that assumes the inclusion of what's unanimously considered one of the most divisive pizza toppings there is. Like befriending a Gemini, some people wouldn't even dare try, let alone order, a Hawaiian pizza due to this simple fact. But I'd encourage these people to open their minds to the idea. Even if it might sound wrong, pineapples offer a sweet, juicy contrast to the salty ham and cheese. Similarly, a Gemini might be the fun-loving, fast-moving, and social-climbing friend you're missing in your life. You shouldn't miss out on something like that.
Cancer
Cancers are represented by crabs, but saying they have a hard shell would be an understatement. These signs are extremely self-protective, and they can be difficult for people to get to know. Cancers tend to put up a front that's either cold and distant, or funny and lighthearted — but, honestly, they're anything but. When you get to know these signs, you find that they're deeply empathetic, emotional, and sensitive. For that reason, if these signs were any type of pizza, they'd be a classic Detroit-style pizza, for no reason other than that thick, crispy, and chewy crust.
Just like the Cancer, Detroit-style pizzas have a hard edge to them. When you cut into one, you might need to put a bit more muscle into it than you're used to — but you'll be rewarded with an ASMR-style crunch with each bite, and a cheese pull to match. Detroit-style pizzas are topped with thick brick cheese from none other than Wisconsin. However, unlike with other pizzas, the cheese is placed directly on top of the dough before it bakes. When it goes into the oven, the cheese becomes extra gooey and buttery in the middle. But, on the edges, it becomes crispy and caramelized.
So, just like a Cancer, the Detroit pizza is crunchy on the outside, and gooey on the inside. It's what this pizza is all about, and in the fashion of these infamously loyal crabs, you might just never go back to eating any other pizza, ever again.
Leo
As the summer babies of the zodiac, Leos have a natural star quality. They love being the center of attention — they're ruled by the sun, after all. The world revolves around them. Even so, Leo's enthusiasm for life can be infectious. Even during the Leo season, which occurs between late July and August, many of us feel a sudden rush to make the most out of summer before it ends. Suddenly, we're all booking our last-minute weekend trips to the beach, BBQing by the pool, and texting all of our friends with boats — all scenarios that pair wonderfully with pizza. But, if the Leo were any type of pizza, they'd be one that's best in the summer. That's why they'd be a veggie pizza.
Eggplants, tomatoes, fresh herbs, summer squash, corn, asparagus — you name it, it tastes better in the summertime. Leo season is a time associated with soaking in the last of summer, and in-season vegetables are a natural extension of that. So, why not throw them all on a pizza and bring it on your boat day? Or, better yet, fire it up on the grill at your next BBQ. Add the cheese, or not, opt for fresh basil pesto base or a tomato, or go for something more unique, such as sweet corn or a za'atar eggplant — no one will be complaining. That is, as long as you bring a pack of the best beer styles for summer.
Virgo
If Leos are the end-of-summer babies of the zodiac, that then makes Virgos the start of fall babies. But, what could be seen as a sad time, full of goodbyes to the long, sunny days behind us, can also be seen as something positive — particularly in the case of food. Fall is a season characterized by cozy flavors, a time when you finally get to indulge in the filling and heartwarming foods that were simply too hot to prepare in the summer months. Although many of our immediate thoughts go to pumpkin, there's another winter squash that comes into season around the same time as Virgos, and it works coincidentally well on pizza. That's the butternut squash, of course.
Butternut squash might not be the first thing you think of pairing with pizza, but it's a great way to bring seasonal fall flavors to your year-round favorite food. You can either puree it at home and use it as a sauce — however, canned butternut squash purée is always an option, too — or you can cube it up and roast it, before topping it on your crust like any other veggie. It'd pair especially well with some spicy Italian sausage, mushrooms, onions, and/or fennel. As with all pizzas, the cheese here is always welcome, whether that be ricotta, parmesan, or mozzarella, and don't be afraid to play around with herbs like rosemary and sage. The Virgo's type of pizza is just one more thing to get excited about.
Libra
There's a reason why Libras are represented by the scale — they're obsessed with balance. It's something they aspire to achieve in every aspect of their lives. Said to be the aesthetics of the zodiac, Libras have a special eye for symmetry. Naturally, this extends to the foods they eat. This means that the type of pizza that the Libra would be has to not only look good but taste good too. Being pizza, the tasting good part is already covered. In the looks department, however, there's really only one pizza for this sign — and that's the Margherita.
In numerology, the number three is associated with harmony. Made from just three ingredients — mozzarella, tomatoes or tomato sauce, and basil — the Margherita pizza is a true representation of that. When preparing a Margherita pizza, dollops of fresh mozzarella are scattered evenly around the dough. If the sauce isn't spread on before the mozzarella, it's usually dolloped around the dough as well to create a balance of red and white, before evenly scattering the fresh basil leaves on top. It's the holy trinity of Italian cuisine, and once it's taken out of the oven, you'll be met with a perfectly melty assortment of white cheese, red sauce, and fresh green basil.
Baked on a classic Neapolitan crust, not only will you get an even dispersal of flavors with each bite, but you'll also get the perfect balance of crusty and chewy. All around, it's the pizza for Libras.
Scorpio
Scorpios are known for being deep, dark, and mysterious. Generally speaking, there aren't any pizzas that fit into the dark or mysterious departments — but there is one that's deep. As you probably guessed and as is fairly obvious by the name, I'm referring to the famous Chicago deep dish. While some may say they're more like a pie, these pizzas have all the basic fixings of a pizza: a nice crust, thick, melty cheese, and warm marinara. What makes Chicago-style pizza so unique is that it's baked in a deep pan, with the cheese, meat, sauce, and any other toppings layered one after another to create something like a crusted lasagna. It's delicious, but, like the Scorpio, it might not be for everybody.
Anthony Bourdain, Pau Gasol, and Jon Stewart are among some of the most vocal Chicago-style pizza haters — Bourdain himself called it an "abomination," which I'm sure many Chicagoans would ask him to say to their faces. But, if there's one thing that Scorpios, Bourdain, and Chicagoans have in common, it's that they honestly couldn't care less what the outside world thinks of them. What's more important is that they stay true to themselves, and what makes them who they are. So, if that means taking a fork and knife and cutting into a cheesy, saucy, crusty, and savory layered pie and calling it pizza, all the more power to them. Everyone else should just mind their own business.
Sagittarius
As the archers of the zodiac, Sagittariuses are natural adventurers. These signs are continuously looking to expand their understanding of the world — and one of the ways they do so is through travel. Just like Andrew Zimmern promotes, the best way to attain true understanding is by eating foods you may not have grown up eating. That's a sentiment that these signs would very much embrace on their travels, assuming their adventurousness extends to the foods they're willing to try. For that reason, the pizza that these signs would be symbolizes cultural fusion. Without a doubt, that's Thai Curry Pizza.
Of all the far-off places this sign might travel to for food, however, this one's home to a Thai restaurant in Long Beach, California. It's no secret that Los Angeles and its surrounding suburbs are home to a bustling population of Thai people — the largest outside of Thailand, in fact — as well as some of the country's oldest Thai restaurants. Thai Curry Pizza is a bit different from the Thai food you're familiar with, but its menu might be the only exception to Jet Tila's tips for finding a great Thai restaurant simply because its specialty is something that's not traditionally Thai at all. Well, not until now, at least.
Capricorn
We all know a Capricorn, and we all know that they're a workaholic. It's okay — you can say it, they won't mind. In fact, it's something these signs are more than likely proud of. A lot of their own self-worth stems from what they're able to accomplish; they are represented by the mountain goat, after all. These signs love the climb. While it does mean that these signs can achieve success, it doesn't come without a cost. Most of it comes down to their own mental wellbeing. Everybody needs to give themselves a break every once in a while, which is why, if these signs were any pizza, they'd be one they'd have to unplug in order to get to. This means they could only be the Colorado-style.
Colorado-style pizza is not as infamously known compared to New York, Chicago, and even Detroit's signature pizzas — but there's a reason for that. To get a true, authentic taste for this style of pizza, you'll have to travel up to one of the state's iconic mountain towns — Idaho Springs, where the braided crust style of this pizza was iconicized, to be exact. This gives you Capricorns the perfect excuse for a much-needed vacation, and in the mountains, no less. Hopefully, the Wi-Fi service will be extra spotty, too, so you can really unplug. But maybe don't mention that to them until they get there. No work emails can be a touchy subject for these signs, and they might bail completely.
Aquarius
There's something different about Aquariuses — it's almost like they're intentionally contrarian, and that's because they are. These signs value their individualism above all else, and if they don't express it through their unpopular opinions, they do so through their fashion sense, hair color, or other modes of self-expression. That's not to say they aren't social people. These signs actually thrive in such settings, they just hate small talk, as well as any sort of herd thinking. They're the black sheep of the zodiac, which is why, if they were any type of pizza, the Aquarius would be the St. Louis style.
Baked into the shape of a circle, but cut into squares, the St. Louis style of pizza does things in a way that most people would think of as backward. It could easily be cut into triangles, but then it'd be just like any other pizza. The squares are an ode to defiance, a challenge of normalcy, and a resistance to societal expectations — everything that Aquariuses are all about. It also doesn't hurt that it's made with a cracker-thin crust that's covered, edge to edge, in your choice of sauce, cheese, and toppings. However, if it were up to the Aquarius, those would include at least one of America's least favorite: anchovies, jalapeños, and, you guessed it, pineapples.
Pisces
Pisces are the water sign of all the water signs — they're literally represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions, which is also pretty telling of their personalities. Pisces always seem to be living in a constant dream state. Their attentions are perpetually divided between two worlds: the one that's happening around them, and the one that's in their heads. It has some cons, for sure, but also some pros, the main one being that they're incredibly imaginative. These sign's creative pursuits know no bounds, so why should their pizzas? It's for precisely this reason that, if the Pisces were any pizza, they'd be a California pizza.
Much like the traditional doughs from Italy and New York, California-style pizza has a simple, thin crust. But, what makes the style so unique are the toppings — just take a look at the California Pizza Kitchen menu to see what I mean. Largely credited with establishing the West Coast style of pizza, the menu at California Pizza Kitchen is inspired by seasonal ingredients, which is why you'll find toppings that aren't typically found on pizzas elsewhere in the world. Also, because they're meant to be untraditional, you'll find pizzas with Thai, Mexican, and Korean-inspired toppings and flavors. Just like the Pisces, California-style pizza is all about being creative and thinking out of the box — giving these signs full reign to explore their imaginations through unique flavors and untraditional toppings.